Thursday, April 28, 2011


I’m glad to report that I’m feeling noticeably better today. For more than a week I’ve really struggled to put one foot in front of the other. It seemed that every little effort zapped my strength and led to a multi-hour nap. Living a matter of years seemed a stretch when I couldn’t seem to get my mind cleared enough to go much more than a few hours at a time. Whenever we have guests or when we travel, I am usually able to suck it up enough to seem normal. Easter weekend was a constant struggle and I don’t think I ever got it sucked up; it sucked me up. I spent most of Monday asleep and barely coherent while awake. I wondered if I was having withdrawals from my narcotic, on days I didn’t take it. Too, I wondered if it was the effects of the air conditioner on my arm and thus system. Whatever it was, it was ugly. Yet, I can always feel something similar tapping me on the shoulder asking me to give in. Then things happen like a show on the Bataan Death March in WW II. To see what those men went through, to listen to their stories, I wonder among all the stupid things in my life if I would be stupid enough to give in when there is still so much potential yet in me. I pray not. I have a constant reminder of what I’m to fight for in my family, friends, and even anonymous blog readers. Who knows how I’ll feel tomorrow but I’m thankful to be doing better today.

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