Cancer Update

They had me wondering but Dr. Jabbour’s office finally called me today about 6pm. While my cancer is still active and no longer in remission, my cancer count remains low and my tolerance to Gleevec is good. So, I don’t go back to Dr. Jabbour until next year unless my cancer number goes up, my symptoms change, or my other blood counts go up.  I’ll monitor it with Dr. Tan. 

While I’d prefer that my cancer be back in remission, Dr. Jabbour said that I can do real well with my cancer numbers as low as they are.

So, I thank God for my good news and I thank all of you for your prayers, concern, and well wishes.

MD ANDERSON EXPERIENCE

This is a lengthy blog entry. Yet, I feel I owe it to those who have followed my leukemia journey a chance to read some of the details that I didn’t disclose on Facebook, emails, and phone calls. Although this blog post is nine pages in my word processor, I also remember when I was first diagnosed with leukemia. A friend sent me the blog of her sister-in-law who had leukemia. She had a terrible experience and had a nasty time with her bone marrow transplant. It was so bad that I stopped reading it. After that, I had no interest in going to MD Anderson when Dr. Tan suggested it or anywhere else. As long as Dr. Tan could reasonably handle it, I was happy. Yet, with time and things not always going so well, my perspective evolved. I ended up going to MD Anderson. When you “Google” CML Blog, my blog site still comes up. I feel I owe it to those who come behind me with CML to post my experience. It may save them a lot of grief or their life.

Arriving in Houston on Sunday, November 4^th for my Monday appointment at the MD Anderson Cancer Center, the trip was about eight hours driving time from Pensacola. On the way, I encountered periods of very heavy rain and drove in heavy traffic most of the way. I was amazed at how heavy the traffic was for a Sunday. Anyway, my Garmin GPS brought me right to the Best Western hotel which is a little over a mile from MD Anderson.

After checking into my hotel and taking my luggage to my room, I headed out to scout the MD Anderson area and to get some supper. Thankfully, the Sunday traffic around MD Anderson was light and I was able to drive past the facility slowly. It was a lot bigger than I expected but the area was still somewhat familiar from having studied the area map which had been sent. I then saw a Taco Bell. I hadn’t eat at one in a long time and decided to give it a try. While eating, I familiarized myself with the map again. Then I drove past MD Anderson again taking note of the various numbered entrances and parking garages. While MD Anderson has multiple sites, I was assigned to the main site where the Leukemia Center is. Knowing that traffic would likely be heavy in the morning, I wanted to have a good idea of what I was doing. After this drive-by, I was confident of where I was going.

Going back to the hotel, I arranged for several alarms. After coming all this way, I didn’t want to miss my Monday morning appointment. No need for the alarms. I didn’t sleep well and got up before the alarm time. After I got showered and dressed, I went downstairs to the complimentary breakfast. I wasn’t that hungry but I ate a little. With my appointment schedule in hand, I headed to the car to go to MD Anderson. My first appointment was scheduled for 9am.

I took advantage of free valet parking that is offered for the first appointment day. I arrived a little after 8am and pulled up to valet parking amidst a flurry of activity and four lanes of cars. After getting my parking stub, I entered the building with lots of other people. There were greeters there who warmly and with smiles welcomed people, gave directions, and answered questions. They told me how to get to Elevator A. After walking down a long hallway with a few turns, I arrived at the elevator and I took it to the eighth floor. As I stepped out of the elevator, again, there were a lot of people. As my previous instructions told me, I turned right and headed into the East Wing of the Leukemia Center. I went to the long counter which had several ladies working there. After telling her my name, she gave me a wrist band and had me take a seat in the large waiting room. It was about 8:20 am. About ten minutes later a lady came from down the hall and called my name. I knew from my schedule that this was for the registration process.

The first item of business was to produce an ID and then an insurance card. After getting copies, she opened her folder and said she wanted to confirm my insurance coverage. She told me my deductible status and my maximum out of pocket status as well. I’m not sure how many papers and forms we went through, but she was very pleasant and efficient. It was a long process. During this time, I gave my consent to MD Anderson to use any leftover tissues or blood for their research tissue bank. My signature for that had to be witnessed by two people. The registration worker also directly directed me through my patient rights and treatment consent forms. Finally, she gave me a business card for the person to call if I have financial questions. Glancing down at one of the forms, I noticed they had done a credit report on me!!

After registration, I counted 34 other patients waiting when I went back out to the Leukemia Center waiting room. Moreover, I noticed the various outward degrees of sickness of the patients. Some were wearing masks, some had bandanas on to cover their head from where their hair that had fallen out, and others were in wheelchairs and had walkers. A good number of them were pale-looking. Most had one or some family members with them and a good number of people were using smartphones or iPads. Not wanting to get sick or get anyone sick, I sat by the healthiest looking person I could find!! As I sat there looking around, my heart wept for these people and I prayed that I wasn’t about to become one of them anytime soon or at all. People were talking all around the room, and despite what I just described, the mood of the room was rather upbeat. Soon, a cart staffed by volunteers came offering free coffee, tea, and crackers. I got some coffee and after I took a few sips my name was called.

The nurse said she saw me drink some coffee so I needed to put the thermometer under my arm. She then took my other vital signs. My blood pressure was a bit high as it usually is when I am about to be poked, prodded, or stabbed!! The nurse took me on back to a treatment room and began going item by item over the nine page Health Questionnaire that they had emailed me to bring back filled out. She was thorough and detailed. At one point, I was asked if I would give them permission to take an extra tube of blood, and extra “draw” of bone marrow, swab my mouth, and give a spittle sample. The samples would be used for research. I consented. She gave me a vial to fill with spit; it took a little while to fill!!

Afterwards, the nurse handed me off to someone who was wearing a mask. She explained that she had a few sniffles that morning and therefore was required to wear a mask because of immune compromised patients. She took me to the Leukemia Center’s Fast Track Lab. The main lab is on another floor. Each subsequent visit (not new patient visit) with a doctor of the Leukemia Center first requires a blood test. This fast track lab gets the results to the doctor by your appointment time. The lab had its own waiting room but as a new patient I was taken right in. There were many blood drawing stations with phlebotomists sitting in their seats taking blood from one patient after another. When it was my turn, I gave my paperwork to the phlebotomist and watched as she pulled out ten tubes for which to collect my blood. I said, “Do you realize that you pulled out ten tubes for me?” She laughed and acknowledged that she knew. I asked if I’d be able to walk out afterwards. She laughed again and assured me I would be able to.

After the blood draw, I was given directions to the bone marrow aspiration and biopsy department. The lady told me to check in there before heading down for my chest x-rays and then lunch. My bone marrow aspiration and biopsy was scheduled for 2pm. It was about 11:45am. Finding my way to the x-ray department on the 3^rd floor using Elevator C, I was called back right away. They seemed to have a technician who just did chest x-rays. After changing into a smock, I waited my turn to be x-rayed. The x-rays were quick and orderly. In no time I was headed to the first floor to the food court.
The food court was quite big yet compact with all kinds of choices of what to eat. I had a deli sandwich and water to drink. All the while, I dreaded my next and last appointment of the day: My 2pm bone marrow aspiration and biopsy. After eating, I walked around a little bit but not too far. I didn’t want to get lost. Finally, I went back up to the bone marrow department at about 1:15pm. This waiting room too was nearly full. I was called back at 1:45pm.

After verifying my name with my wrist band and getting my patient number, the nurse took my blood pressure. Indeed, it was quite high and I was sweating already!! She explained the process to me saying that they would scrub the back part of my hip crest, numb the tissues with Lidocaine, and then breach the bone. She warned me that she couldn’t numb the bone. She would then aspirate bone marrow with several “draws”. Then she would use a different instrument to get a piece of bone for the biopsy. She asked me if I had any questions. I said no. She instructed me to loosen my pants, hike them down a little, and lie face down on the table. She marked the entry sight with a pen and swabbed the hip crest area. Her assistant gave her a surgical pad which she put on me with an open center within she would work. Continuing to explain everything as she went, she started injecting the target area with Lidcaine until it was numb to the needle.

I didn’t tell the nurse the trouble that Dr. Tan had when he did this on me. Dr. Tan is not a small man and he had a hard time getting through my “hard bone.” Dr. Tan labored and labored to break through my bone and when he did, he barely got enough bone marrow to make the slides for pathology. Well, soon after the nurse began, she commented that I had hard bones. I dreaded hearing that. I was sure that I was in for another epic struggle. Through my sweat and marked anxiety, I told her that I had been told that before. I asked if she was going to be able to get it. She said there’d be no problem, just a little challenge. Then she got through the cortex of the bone and into the marrow. She warned me that it was going to hurt while she “drew” out some marrow. She asked if I was ready. I said I was. Indeed it hurt but I’ve had a lot worse. She commented that she had a good flow and warned me each time she made a draw. It seems like she took five draws or so. Then she warned me that it was going to hurt when she came out of the marrow. She warned me again as she inserted another device to get the piece of bone, and I was warned again when she harvested the piece of bone and when she withdrew the instrument.

When it was over, she put a compression bandage on the wound and told me not to get it wet for 48 hours. I commended her on doing a good job and told her all the trouble Dr. Tan had. The nurse reminded me that leukemia is a rare cancer so most oncologists don’t do that many bone marrow aspirations and biopsies. In contrast, their department does 60-70 a day and each nurse does more in a day than most oncologists do in months. She said that it’s possible that they have more refined tools and techniques. I couldn’t argue. It was much less traumatic than my last one even though she did more “draws” and took a piece of bone. Even so, I was very glad when she said she was finished!!

Thankful to be finished, I took the elevator down to the first floor and I turned in my parking stub. The attendant entered the stub into the computer thus summoning someone to get my car. While I waited outside, I watched as car after car dropped cancer patients off and picked them up. In a large hospital or clinic, I’m used to seeing people with all kinds of problems from orthopedic to neurologic. Yet, at MD Anderson Cancer Center, they only treat cancer patients. These hundreds or thousands of people all had a common enemy: Cancer.

The lidocaine began to wear off and my hip was rather sore. It was a bit sorer than I remembered the last one being. Perhaps it’s because they were in the marrow longer and made more draws. Either way, it was uncomfortable trying to sleep but the whole process wasn’t worth all the worry I expended on it the days before the procedure. I’m sure I’ll worry again next time, but I guess it’s better to expect a tough time and it be easier than the other way around. The next day would be my visit with Dr. Elias Jabbour.

I had a 2pm appointment with Dr. Jabbour. However, his nurse called me and asked me if I could come in at 11am. I said I could. I parked in Garage 10 and took the 3^rd floor skywalk over to the main MD Anderson Cancer Center. I found Elevator A and took it to the eighth floor: The Leukemia Center. As is their procedure, I went to get my vital signs taken and then I checked in at the leukemia front counter. This time the waiting room had over 40 people in it and I again noticed how sick many of them looked. I sat down but it was unfortunately close to two guys talking about their bone marrow transplant experiences. They were sharing their horrid stories from the effects of the chemo to very painful spinal taps. They talked and talked. Finally, I felt like I had heard all I wanted and so I moved. There were few chairs available and I chose a chair next to a woman whose husband, we’ll call Sam, was wearing a mask. I came to learn that they were accompanied by the parents of either Sam or his wife and a daughter. We first started talking about smartphones and such. Sam then asked me what typed of leukemia I had. I told him CML. He said his started that way but then went acute. After talking awhile, Sam and his wife swapped seats so he was sitting next to me. The whole family was very pleasant. He was a patient of Dr. Jabbour also. Sam’s family told me what a wonderful doctor Dr. Jabbour is and that MD Anderson, and Dr. Jabbour, take an aggressive and proactive approach to cancer/leukemia. They said that that Dr. Jabbour does everything he can to take the advantage away from the cancer. I was assured that I would like him. Sam said that Dr. Jabbour is late with his appointments a lot because he takes the time to answer all questions and thoroughly explain what is going on. Sam joked that his wife and daughter like him because he is so good looking and nice.

Sam and I began talking about his experiences. He was diagnosed as being acute earlier this year and was put in motion for a bone marrow transplant. While a sibling is desirable as a donor, his genetics were so unique that none of his siblings matched. Furthermore, a match wasn’t found in the United States; his donor is from Australia. The man said that he himself was a salesman and used to reading papers upside down. That is how he found out where his donor was from and that he is 24 years old. He said that he was amazed that a 24 year old would make himself available for such donations. I asked what the donor has to go through.

Sam said that there are two main marrow donation techniques. They both require giving the donor medications to increase production of stem cells: The cells which make other cells. After the blood titre is high enough, they do like a blood donation. A needle takes blood out of one arm, goes through a machine, and back into the other arm. The other way is that the patient is put under anesthesia and different bone sites are drilled so as to harvest bone marrow. He said it looks like a transfusion bag afterwards. The family was humbled that the 24 year old Australian went through that for him. Yet, it doesn’t end there.

During the transplant, Sam was in a room with nothing but a plastic commode for a month or so. There was a glass wall that visitors could see him through and there was a phone with which they could talk to each other. He not only had his usual IV ports, but he had chest ports so they could administer drugs through them directly into his system. He did well and was glad when he got to go home. He went into remission rather soon after the transplant.

After a port flushing on one subsequent visit, he started getting severe chills. They turned back around and went back to MD Anderson Hospital. He had contracted an infection through the port. With the port going right into him, there was not much defense against it. It nearly killed him. After finally recovering from the infection, his cancer tests came back positive again. Now MD Anderson is contacting the 24 year old Australian to see if he would be willing to donate to this stranger again who lives across the globe.

Sam asked me about my bone marrow aspiration. I told him about it. He said that he’s had about twelve of them since June and they started using the drill. He said it is a lot better than the usual way. He was about to explain why when they called him back. He had a 10:30 appointment and it was now almost 11:30. In a few minutes, the same nurse who called Sam called a lady, who was very thin and frail looking, back to the treatment area. I didn’t mind waiting one bit; Dr. Jabbour could take whatever time he needed with these patients and the others ahead of me. Around noon, I was called back.

After sitting a while in the treatment room, a Physician’s Assistant (Hillary) came in and introduced herself. She interviewed me and performed a cursory physical. She was alarmed at how tender my stomach area was. She asked if Gleevec was the cause. I confirmed it was. After the physical, I waited until about 1:45 when Dr. Jabbour came in. He was very congenial, spoke with his minimal to moderate Lebanese accent and began asking me questions. As I responded, I could tell he was very pleasant and confident. He reviewed the blood work they had back but said they are waiting on the genetic studies. After confirming that I was from Florida, he asked how long I would be in Houston. I said that I’d be there as long as I needed be. He then picked up the phone in the room and called the lab. After pleasantries with the lab technician who answered the phone, he asked if she could do him a favor. He asked for a rush on my genetic studies. She told him they’d have them late the next day. I agreed to come back to see Dr. Jabbour on Thursday.
Dr. Jabbour explained that my great initial response to Gleevec is critical. He said that it is uncommon to test positive for ten years after going into remission so fast. He said the causes of testing positive were:
1. Patient stopped taking the Gleevec
2. False Positive
3. Developing intolerance (resistance) to Gleevec

He asked if I had been taking my Gleevec. I assured him that I took it every day. Therefore, he said that he will have genetic mutations tested (caused by Gleevec intolerance) in addition to the other genetic tests. There was one big problem at my appointment. Dr. Tan’s office only sent some of my records to them. Half expecting this, as has been my experience with them, I brought copies of my bone scan reports and abdominal CT scans. Surely, they would send my positive cancer test, right? No. I didn’t have it either. I recalled to Dr. Jabbour that the number on the report was 3.119. Well, that would create confusion because we presumed that was my cancer percentage number. As we found out later, it was not. More about that later. Dr. Jabbour asked if I had any questions and asked if I understood everything so far. I said I did. So, I left the office. I contacted Eileen and that evening she faxed me a copy of my positive test.

This was on Tuesday afternoon and I would be spending Wednesday in Houston before my appointment with Dr. Jabbour on Thursday. I still couldn’t take a shower on Wednesday because of my bone aspiration wound so I washed my hair again under the faucet of the tub and took a washcloth type bath…in case you were wondering. After breakfast, I decided to walk to MD Anderson to get my appointment time. I had checked online the night before but it wasn’t posted yet. I should have checked in the morning before I left, but I wanted to get out and walk anyway. It took me almost twenty minutes to walk there. Once there, I checked my appointment time and saw it was for 1pm Thursday. I then went to the gift shop and got a few items and then sat down at a long table they have in the lobby with a four-bang electrical outlet at each station. I guess there were twelve stations. I sat down and began typing some emails, and writing in my journal. I also toured the Patient and Family facility where they have quiet areas, lounge areas, and a business area. Later that morning I came back and used the business area. I also went to the large atrium on the second floor and wrote more. After finishing, I walked back to the hotel.

On Thursday, I took some things to the car and started to walk to the breakfast room. My phone rang. It was Dr. Jabbour’s nurse. She wanted to know if I could come in at 11:30am instead of 1pm. I said I could. After eating breakfast, I packed the car, checked out of my room and headed to MD Anderson. I was quite early so I sat in the lobby with a cup of coffee and again wrote emails and wrote in my journal. I then went up to the eighth floor, got my vital signs taken, and checked in at the front counter. At about 11:20am I was called back to a treatment room.

At 11:30, Hillary, the Physician’s Assistant, came in and told me there was a lab error and all my genetic tests weren’t back. They were being rerun and the earliest they would be done is late Friday or Monday. She asked if I wanted to stay in Houston, come back, or have a telephone appointment with Dr. Jabbour next Tuesday. I said I’d think about it for a few moments. I then gave her the copy of my positive cancer test. She said she’d show it to Dr. Jabbour. In about ten minutes, Hillary and Dr. Jabbour entered the room. He smiled and said that I was doing very well with my CML despite my positive cancer test. He said the 3.119 was my log reduction number not my cancer cell percentage. Dr. Jabbour said that I can lead a very normal life at the cancer level of .136%.

He said it is barely positive, but it is positive. He was concerned why it became positive after being in remission for so long. If it stayed forever at that .136% level, it would clinically be like being in remission. However, he’s concerned that this might be the early stages of Gleevec resistance/intolerance. He’ll know more when he gets the genetic tests back. He said he would call me next Thursday to tell me the results.
Dr. Jabbour then pulled a chair over to his exam table and began writing on the paper covering the table. He explained the log factor, my cancer percentage results, Gleevec drug intolerance, gene mutation, and CML in general. He wrote down the drugs available to Dr. Tan to treat my CML. He wrote down imatinib (Gleevec), nilotinib (Tasigna), and dasatinib (Spycel). He said that with my genetic makeup that I was likely to produce a mutation what I believe was called T315i if I failed Gleevec and went on one of these other chemo drugs. If that happens, that would be VERY bad for me. Therefore, even if the current tests come back good, he wants to monitor my genetic tendency toward this genetic mutation. If I start failing Gleevec, he wants to catch it early in the process and get me onto a chemo (he named it) that isn’t on the market yet. Therefore, if my genetic tests come back with elevated numbers or mutations, I’m to come back in two weeks. That will be the following week after next Thursday’s phone call. If I’m not showing significant signs of Gleevec failure, then he wants to check it again in a year.

There is something very important here. When talking to Dr. Tan, he said that if I am failing Gleevec that he would either put me on Tasigna or send me to MD Anderson. Put me on Tasigna? That is exactly what Dr. Jabbour said must not happen. So, regardless of anything else, that piece of information was worth the trip. Also, Dr. Jabbour said that he was glad that MD Anderson now has a genetic profile on me from which to monitor in case I am developing Gleevec intolerance.

It seems that things are going well with my care with Dr. Tan. I wish his office staff was a little more careful and diligent. I also wish that I did not have that appointment with his nurse practitioner. She obviously gave me bogus information which two phone calls and emails with Dr. Tan didn’t get cleared up. When I did speak to Dr. Tan, he didn’t have my file in front of him so he didn’t have a grasp of my numbers. I wish that he would have looked them up when he went back to his office, and called me. There has been a lot of worry alleviated by my trip to MD Anderson.

My trip to MD Anderson was a great experience. It was great to be treated by a world class facility and by world class people striving to get it right with a smile and a helping hand. I’ve been in a lot of medical facilities in my life; MD Anderson is by far the best of them all. There is an obvious concerted effort to be friendly, helpful, polite, and the best in patient care.

When I was reading the prayer notes on the prayer tree in the chapel, one girl wrote that she wanted to be so negative. I thought, “Why be negative? One needs a positive outlook to deal with all of this.” Then I read more notes. Then I understood; she wanted the same thing we all wanted…to have our tests come back “so negative!!”

Eileen didn’t travel with me this time because we didn’t want to use her personal days just for my testing if we might need them later, if this thing was in the process of turning really ugly. One of my tests, that I brought a copy back with me, shows that I have not progressed to the next phase (Accelerated) or the worst phase (Blast). If I had been, things would look very bleak and we would need all those personal days.

Finally, I want to say that I was moved by seeing all the suffering cancer patients. Seeing so much of it was like visiting a mini war zone. Gazing upon such human suffering does something to a person.  It softens some aspects of one's psyche and hardens other parts. I hope it did the right combination in me. I will remember the looks on so many faces as I pray for their struggle to live another day, week, month, or year.
Thank you for remembering my family and me in your thoughts and prayers. I appreciate the emails, texts, phone calls, and Facebook comments and affirmations.

TIME CHANGE

I suppose that I still look at Time Change as the time of year that we either gain an hour of sleep or lose one. I think many people think of the change between Daylight Savings Time and Standard Time in much the same way. Although after this many years it matters less than in years gone by, this year, I’ll consider Sunday’s time change with a little more interest. This year, “fall back” means that I will spend one more hour at home before heading to Houston, Texas.

I will leave for Houston on Sunday morning after I get up and tend to some family business. I’m heading to the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. I have an appointment Monday morning at 9am. All my records from Dr. Tan’s office have been forwarded and I’ll be carrying with me the original slides from my initial bone marrow biopsy.

In phone conversations with Dr. Tan, we decided that it was time for me to get a consultation from M.D. Anderson. While he initially was going to wait until after my December blood test was performed to make the decision, I advanced the decision because I’d rather do it this calendar year than start with a new deductible in January. So, after talking it over with Dr. Tan, I made contact with M.D. Anderson Cancer Center.

The appointment process at M.D. Anderson is that I had to apply for an appointment. After they obtained my medical records from Dr. Tan and reviewed them, they determined whether they would accept me as a patient. After accepting me, they have contacted me several times and emailed me information. One item was a nine page medical history form to fill out. M.D. Anderson informed me that I had been assigned a doctor in the Leukemia Department and to expect to be in Houston for 3-5 days. The first day will begin with a detailed medical interview and then be filled with x-rays, lab tests, and bone biopsy or biopsies, etc.

M.D. Anderson is regarded by many as the leading cancer treatment and research center in the world. Many of the chemotherapy drugs and treatment protocols that oncologists use have been developed at M.D. Anderson. Its Leukemia Department is second to none. My doctor is a leading researcher and clinician in Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML), which is my kind of leukemia. Apparently, he only treats patients with CML. I hope and pray that he has some good solutions for me.

When I was first diagnosed with CML, my oncologist, Dr. Tan, advised that I go to M.D. Anderson and try to get accepted in one of their clinical trials. I responded that I didn’t want to be experimented on. I asked him to treat me instead. I was familiar with clinical trials where they give the patient too high, too low, and experimental drugs…all in the name of research and trying to find precise treatment protocols. Well, I understand the need for clinical trials but I decided it wasn’t for me. Well, that was when I was forecasted to respond well to my chemotherapy drug, Gleevec. Now, that I’ve come out of remission I’m not so opposed if it might find a good treatment protocol.

While I don’t necessarily expect to be recommended to participate in a clinical trial, I really don’t know what to expect beyond the first day. After the first day of tests, I don’t know what else there is to do besides report back to me, unless they want to try some changes in my treatment. I know they have specialized tests which will help determine the probable further effectiveness of Gleevec on me, along with other chemotherapeutic drugs. Perhaps trying to isolate the best chemo drug for me is why I have to be there 3-5 days.

While I’m not thrilled to be going into another medical facility and I really dread the bone biopsies again, I’m hopeful that it will be worth it. Even at that, if I ever undergo a bone marrow transplant, it will be done at M.D. Anderson. I suppose I do fear that the doctor will recommend a more aggressive treatment regimen. Aggressive treatment regimens are generally not pleasant whether it’s cancer or most other medical conditions. I especially hope and pray that I don’t hear the recommendation for a bone marrow transplant. That is just a whole new mental stratosphere that I’m not ready to enter yet. But, I might have to get there in a hurry. It’s just an unfathomable option for me at this moment.

So, Sunday morning (or Saturday night) when you set your clocks back and change the batteries in your smoke detector, please say a prayer for my family and me.  Thank you!!

Update Two

In a surprise move, Dr. Tan called me today. The gist of it is that he told me not to panic yet. He said not to worry about the positive test result unless it happens a second or third time in a row...provided that my other tests remain normal and my symptoms don't worsen. Even at that, his next move is to put me on Tasigna when Gleevec has become ineffective.

I told Dr. Tan that his call meant a lot to me and I really appreciated it. He repeated that I'm to get retested in three months. Well, because of scheduling conflicts and the normal two weeks it takes to get this test back, I really only have two months to wait; it's been a month since the last blood draw.

I doubt I have anything new to report for two months...at least I hope I don't!!!

Thank you again for all your comments, emails, calls, and prayers!!!

Update

Despite knowing that Dr. Tan would be swamped today after being gone last week, I still showed up at his office at 8 am. He wasn't going to be in until 9 they said, so I talked to the nurse practitioner again. She said she hadn't been able to talk to Dr. Tan yet but would definitely call me after doing so. She told me to try not to worry. So, I headed off for South Carolina to meet our daughter coming home from Afghanistan.

Just after lunch time the nurse called. Relaying the message from Dr. Tan, she said that there isn't much they can do right now but monitor the cancer. As long as my white blood count stays normal we are to be content. If it goes up, then that is trouble, bad trouble. As in real bad trouble.

I was also told that if I have any changes in symptoms to call them right away. Well, can we say paranoid?! Every time I sneeze or cough I'm going to wonder if that is a change!!

So, they had me change my six month bloodwork and one year doctor visit to a three month check and visit.

My false positive theory was just hope in the wind. The test measures the amount of cancer cells. It doesn't just say positive or negative. The good thing is that my measurement was log 12 when I was first diagnosed. Then it steadily went down to log zero. Now it is back up to log three.

Well, that is all I know for now. Thank you for the kind comments, emails, and especially the prayers. I'll try to not let this thing preoccupy my mind but I know that if it goes to the next step, it will get ugly in a hurry. Thank you again!!

CHANGES

Even though I’m not writing the blog regularly any longer, I still write after my oncologist visits to give you the latest. I had my latest oncologist appointment yesterday (Friday).

A week before yesterday’s appointment, the oncologist’s office called and said that Dr. Tan would be out of the office on the day of my appointment. They offered to reschedule me or I could see his Nurse Practitioner. Knowing that I’d be gone the following week to get our daughter from the airport, coming back from Afghanistan, I opted for the Nurse Practitioner.

I arrived at the oncologist’s office early as always and was called back early. The Nurse Practitioner greeted me and then told me that everything looked great on my blood work, other than the stubborn anemia, etc. She asked if I had any questions. I told her that I had three. The first question was that Dr. Tan always gives me a copy of my results; I asked if I could have a copy of these results. She said I could have the copy she had in her hand. She then proceeded to answer my other two questions when I noticed that the BCR-ABL test, the cancer test, was not there. I asked her about it. She checked the file and then the computer. She said the computer shows that the test was performed but there wasn’t a copy of the test result in the computer. She excused herself and said she’d be right back. She returned to say that the lab was resending the test result and she’d have it in a minute. She left the room again.

This time she came back in with a different look on her face. She said that my test was positive: The cancer is back. The nurse practitioner said that because this test result just got to the office, Dr. Tan had not seen it yet. She said that she will discuss it with him Monday morning and they will call me with any treatment plan changes. She anticipated that Dr. Tan would want to do a bone biopsy. I groaned. She said she understood.

I’ve had an uneasy feeling about this test result for the past couple of weeks. Yet, that isn’t too uncommon; I often get an uncomfortable feeling just walking into any doctor's office!! In this case though, there is just something about facing the cancer question that is especially unsettling.

After my cancer went into remission, Dr. Tan told me that my cancer would likely go active again in about ten years or so. Hopefully by then there would be an effective treatment available for me at that time. Well, unfortunately, ten years turned into one year: I was in remission for only one year.

The good news is that my White Blood Count (WBC) is low. I’ll be in trouble when the cancer causes the WBC count to go high. At that point, I’ll have to consider a bone marrow transplant and all those things that I previously said I wouldn’t undergo. We’ll see though. A bone marrow transplant could be staring me in the face real soon and thus I might have a change of heart!!

I just so happened to have lunch scheduled with my older brother after my appointment. After emailing Eileen at work and contacting the kids about my results, I met my oldest brother for lunch. I told him the news. He offered his bone marrow. I told him that since he just had his gall bladder out, I don’t want bone marrow from someone who doesn’t have a gall bladder!! We laughed. While a bone marrow transplant may be staring at me, I’m not going to think about it too much until I have to.

So, I won’t know much else until Monday. Even so, I’ll likely be on the road before Dr. Tan calls. I’m not sure I’ll be able to blog while gone. I may be gone all week. When I can, I’ll update you.

By the way, I waited to post this until after our daughter, who is in the process of returning from Afghanistan, got a chance to get the news.

TEST RESULTS

I’m glad to report that my blood test results were good. The results show that I am still in remission. Thank God!! Beyond that, the rest of the blood test is relatively unimportant to me. However, the tests do show that I’m still quite anemic, even a little more than I usually am. However, my anemia is still in an acceptable range for taking the chemo drug, Gleevec. In other words, the anemia isn’t bad enough to warrant discontinuing the Gleevec. The benefits of taking Gleevec greatly outweigh the negative effects of the anemia and the risk for my leukemia going “acute.”

I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that my White Blood Cell (WBC) count has come up some. For the first time in a long time my WBC count is in the lower range of normal. If you remember, my WBC count had gotten up to nearly 100,000 before beginning Gleevec, and then after beginning treatment my WBC count dropped down so low that I was almost removed from Gleevec. For the past couple of years, my WBC count has been very low but tolerable to Dr. Tan. In these situations, low WBC counts mean that my immunity is diminished. However, this latest blood test shows an improvement…at least that is what I hope it is. I don’t see Dr. Tan for six more months to know for sure. In the back of my mind I know that my White Blood Cell count is supposed to eventually go crazy indicating the onset of the “acute” phase. We’re hoping and praying that Gleevec will keep me in remission for years until something is developed that can take over when it is no longer effective. Anyway, I hope that my elevation in WBC count is an indication of a better immunity and not the beginning of something bad. With the cancer cell test coming back normal, I choose to believe that the modest increase in my WBC count is nothing but good news.

SPRING BREAK

The week of Spring Break is over and it has gone by quickly. Although Eileen spent considerable time working on school work and her master’s degree, we also found time to spend a lot of time together which included strawberry picking and a couple of outings to the movies. Eileen has worked hard these past two years on her master’s work, in addition to her high school math teaching job. In another month her master’s work will be complete.

I went to the races at Five Flags Speedway here in Pensacola yesterday with a friend. It was a beautiful day but I should have heeded Eileen’s suggestion to take sunscreen. It was in the low 80’s but it didn’t seem that hot so I passed on the sunscreen. I came back from the races, which had been rescheduled because of a rainout on Friday, with a minor but obvious burn. I didn’t think about the fact that I’m supposed to limit my exposure to direct sunlight, because of the chemo drug Gleevec, until I took my dosage at supper time. Oh well, I don’t feel worse for wear and I think most of the burn will be gone by morning.

I mentioned last week that I got my blood tested at the oncologist’s office to make sure that my leukemia is still in remission. I don’t have an appointment with Dr. Tan for another six months; I’m supposed to call the oncologist’s office for the results. I’ll stop in today and get a copy of my results. I pray for good news and I appreciate all those who keep me in their prayers.

UPDATE

I haven’t given a health update for a while so I thought this would be a good time. However, there isn’t really anything new to report. Stomach pain and G.I. pain along with nausea as a result of Gleevec are almost a constant companion. However, my leg cramps are much better and my skin rashes are much better too. This past Wednesday I had a blood test at the oncologist’s office. I’ll know in about two weeks if I’m still in remission. I pray so.

My arm is in a very vulnerable state as compared to this time of year in the past. I’m not looking forward to the encounters with air conditioning and ceiling fans this year. Already my arm is giving me fits although I am able to sleep most nights. I’m very thankful for that. It seems that if I behave myself with my arm that it becomes more wimpish and unable to handle much adversity at all. There’s a reasonable balance in there somewhere; I’m not sure I’ve ever been able to find it.

Our oldest son’s family is in town this weekend. Although they spent most of this weekend at our daughter-in-law’s sister’s house, we’ve had a great visit with them and our seventeen-month-old granddaughter, Lindsay. Eileen and I always take her on evening walks. Lindsay really likes it and we like her liking it!!

Our oldest daughter is at Camp Pendelton, California for one more week before heading off to Afghanistan until October. We will miss her but we’re proud of the service she is providing to the medical health of our military.

Our other two kids and Eileen are on Spring Break this week. This is the first year that it hit out that they all had it at the same time. It’s going to be a great week.

One last thing…a friend is having serious surgery on Thursday; please pray for him and his family.

SEASON’S GREETINGS!!

We are well into the season of Lent and Easter is not too far away. Especially in our busy world with all kinds of worldly noise distracting us from the important aspects of life, it’s good that we have religious seasons. Oddly enough, Christmas wasn’t that long ago but the Christmas season is becoming so commercialized and political that many have a hard time finding peace and true spiritual meaning in the season. The Easter season gives us another chance at it without so much commercialization. Yet, the distractions and busyness of life can make the season go by without us attaching much significance to it. Indeed, we have to make conscious effort to come out of the Easter season a better person than we went into it. Many people give something up for Lent as a means of self-discipline. Others perform additional righteous acts during Lent. Whatever we choose and regardless of our denomination, it’s a good time to reflect on our faith-journey and make some changes. Even if we didn’t start at the beginning of Lent, it’s never too late to start. Furthermore, personal spiritual inventory is not something that we should only do at Christmas and Easter.

FAMILY REFLECTIONS

This has been an extra good weekend as all the kids were home from last Thursday evening through Sunday evening when our oldest son’s family headed back home. Our oldest daughter is still home until Thursday morning.

When so many miles separate the homes of our two oldest kids, it is a special blessing to have them all home at the same time. As our third child is in the final stretch of his college degree and our youngest daughter begins university life in the fall, we treasure the times we’re all together. Especially with our oldest daughter about to leave for a seven month deployment to Afghanistan, we know that it will be at least that many months before we’re all together again. Even so, only time and career choices in the years to come will determine if it gets easier or harder to get everyone together. For now, we are thankful and celebrate the times we have.

As our children get older and carve their own paths in the world, we experience and enjoy the next generation anew as our sixteen-month-old granddaughter (Lindsay) brings much joy, love, and laughter to the family. Lindsay was taking a nap while the rest of us gathered around the table to pray on Sunday afternoon. I look forward to when the family gathers again in person and in prayer.

REJOICING

We went to the house of our oldest son and his family this past weekend. Our granddaughter (Lindsay) is sixteen months old already. Usually when our families are together Lindsay is very partial to me. One of her earliest words was “Grandpa.” This past weekend Lindsay stuck like glue to Eileen. Lindsay even said “Grandma” more than she said “Grandpa”…but who is counting!! Actually, it’s quite thrilling to see Lindsay love on Eileen the way that Lindsay does on me. It does my heart good.

It’s good when we rejoice at the blessings of others. It’s our destructive pride that tends for us to resent or to be jealous of another’s good fortune. Blessings aren’t in limited supply and we don’t get fewer blessings if someone else gets blessed. It renders our heart a good measure when we are not only thankful for our blessings but also rejoice at blessings of others.

BLESSING OTHERS

Many of you know that I have worked with families, marriages, and individuals for many years. Some refer to my work as “counseling” but I usually don’t. Instead, I’m more like a teacher or life coach. It’s sort of like this: We know that the Pharisees were very religious people. They worshipped God, read and memorized Scripture, prayed, and attended to every religious matter, feast, and festival. They strictly adhered to the Jewish traditions and laws. Even so, Jesus was very critical of them. In fact, Jesus said to us, “Unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter into the kingdom of heaven.” Well, I’m not sure we can get more religious than the Scribes and Pharisees but our righteousness certainly can be better. So, our eternity seems to have more to do with our righteous faith life than it does our formal religion. That is the area that I offer my assistance: I work with people’s life challenges via the faith life.

I don’t charge for my work and neither do I accept reimbursement for gas money etc. I have been offered a cruise, vacations, extravagant gifts, and money as articles of appreciation. I’ve declined them all. However, I have received wonderful cards, emails, letters and such. This past week a new form of appreciation was extended to me that kind of shocked me. A couple that I’m working with told me that they scheduled a Catholic Mass to be said in my honor at their church. I certainly don’t deserve it but I’ll take it!! Anytime someone wants to bless me for any reason or no reason…I’ll take it!!

We have many opportunities to bless other people. We can do it with a smile, a phone call, or an email etc. If we stop and think about it, we could probably think of times that someone did something for us which still blesses our lives or warms our heart. It’s good to remember those times and then look for opportunities to bless someone else. Doing something or being someone for another not only blesses them but it also blesses us.

BLESSINGS

For those of you who started reading the Bible one chapter a day with me a couple of years ago, yesterday is when we finished reading the entire Bible, Genesis to Revelation, one chapter at a time. For all the Christians there are in the world, most of them never read the complete Bible; most rarely read it at all on their own. Reading one chapter a day will get you through the Bible in due time but at least you will have read it. On the other hand, at your current rate, will it ever get read?

We all have our challenges and I certainly have mine. Yet, I try not to focus on the challenges. Instead, I try to stay focused on the blessings. We can’t always obtain peace externally in our lives but we can achieve internal peace. Being thankful and reminding ourselves of our blessings, big and small, keeps our hearts supple and gives us a healthy dose of inner peace. So, despite my challenges, I live a life filled with blessings. Invariably though about the time that I feel so humbled by our blessings, I’m reminded that it can get even better.

While our son was traveling with work, his wife and daughter (15 month old Lindsay) were going to stay with her sister’s family in Ft. Walton. She was going to spend a couple of evening with us. However, her sister’s kids got sick and so our daughter-in-law and Lindsay stayed with us for the entire week. We had a grand time and the interaction with our granddaughter was very heartwarming. We enjoyed our daughter-in-law too; I want to be sure to say that!! However, there is a little place in the heart that lights up with a grandchild, that I didn’t even know was there. While the cold weather has laid siege to my arm, my heart is warmed by our many blessings.

CHALLENGES

I’m not sure that I can tell you anything new about my health status. The way I feel is predictably unpredictable although there are a few constants. This past week has been mostly noted with marked nausea. I had to pull over a few times while driving because of the sickness and have spent some extra time in bed. Some of my nausea comes from the oral chemo, Gleevec, while some of it comes from my arm pain. I try not to let it slow me down too much but it does win sometimes. I’m also back to almost full strength on the pain killers and it adds to my fatigue.

But speaking about nausea, I have a friend who is fighting her own battle with chronic pain. Her pain is primarily with severe headaches that are resistant to treatment. The relentless pain also gives her nausea.

One doesn’t have to look around too far to see a lot of people facing all kind of challenges. I received an email from a guy who lost his job. I was inspired by his attitude and his plan of action. We can’t always avoid the challenges we face but we can choose the attitude we have with the challenge. Granted, the longer the challenge persists then the harder it can become to maintain a healthy attitude. Yet, a bad situation is made miserable by a bad attitude. Even if we don’t face tough challenges, I’m sure we know someone who is. It’s good to not only maintain a good attitude ourselves but to also help spread a little love, hope, and joy to those facing challenges in their lives.

CHOICES AND POVERTY

Creating an Opportunity Society is a book written by Ron Haskins and Isabel Sawhill. In it they speak about poverty and how to avoid it. They say, “Our research shows that if you want to avoid poverty and join the middle class in the United States, you need to complete high school (at a minimum), work full time and marry before you have children. If you do all three, your chances of being poor fall from 12 percent to 2 percent, and your chances of joining the middle class or above rise from 56 to 74 percent. (We define middle class as having an income of at least $50,000 a year for a family of three.)” They go on to say, “According to the U.S. Census Bureau, children living in single-parent families are about five times as likely to live in poverty. There’s also a high probability they’ll drop out of school, get arrested, be involved in teen pregnancy themselves, have more mental health problems, and be less likely to be employed or in school as young adults. Indeed, parents themselves are physically and psychologically better off when married than single.”

Many view much of poverty in America as a choice. According to the above statistics, there’s only a 2% chance of ending up in poverty if people will do all of the following: “Complete high school (at a minimum), work full time and marry before having children.” Those are all choices that most people have. Yet, today, too many student-aged kids drop out of school, roam the streets, and become teenage parents. Furthermore, a disproportionate number of single-parent households and teen pregnancies are among the black community. What is the common solution? We keep adding more government programs for single parents, singles moms, and the poor. It’s taboo to talk about the real issue: Poor life choices.

These poor life choices are robbing individuals of their economic liberties and saddling society with a tremendous burden. Because these people choose to live without responsibility for their future and the future of their children, the taxpayer is left to take care of them. If someone objects, they are called heartless towards the poor. Many school teachers are making an effort to motivate students to care about their studies and their future. Of course this concept is quite difficult to affirm in students when they themselves are from a single parent, and have been for generations.

There are certain things that the wealthier people in America predominately keep choosing to do in order to be in the middle class or above, and there are certain things the poor keep choosing to do. The choice in America is largely ours. Our nation’s children are at risk because of our poor choices.

ANGELS AMONG US

I’m still not sure what I want to do about the blog yet. I appreciate the affirmative comments I’ve received about my blog posts. For now though, I’ll just say that I’ll post again next Monday. I’ll post between now and then if I feel inspired to do so.

What has been on my mind lately? Well, a death, a divorce, and a lost job have all captivated not only my mind but my heart and prayers as well. I really can’t write about their details but living life certainly has its challenges. Which reminds me…I read a piece on St. Padre Pio today that was very interesting. He seemed to have a very close relationship with his guardian angel. I must admit that I don’t know that much about guardian angels; I suppose I’ve never given it much thought. I know there are angels but I really don’t know too much about their earthly function. From what I read today, we all have a guardian angel; I guess I ought to learn more about angels in general. Yet, I’m not sure what to do about the information I learn. Am I supposed to talk to the guardian angel like St. Pio did or do I just acknowledge the guardian angel’s existence? I’ll do some research. In the meantime, if you know something about guardian angels, please clue me in.

THINKING ABOUT IT

I’ve been writing this blog since May 24, 2009, which of course was right after I was diagnosed with leukemia. Thus, a few months from now marks the third year of writing this blog with all but a short span being daily entries. That’s hundreds of writings. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll continue to write as often as I find myself inclined to repeat myself. Maybe it’s time to go back to posting once a week for the sole purpose of giving health updates. I’ll take the weekend to think about it and let you know where I’m at in the process on Monday.

VOUCHERS AND HITLER

Harrisburg, Pennsylvania Bishop Joseph McFadden had some strong words about the public school system. “In totalitarian governments, they would love our system. This is what Hitler and Mussolini and all those tried to establish - a monolith so all the children would be educated in one set of beliefs and one way of doing things.” Bishop McFadden is pushing for school vouchers that could be used by private schools.

I’m not so sure he is right about his comparison to Hitler and Mussolini. The big difference is that American children still have the right and choice to go to private schools, or even home school. They don’t have to be educated in public schools. There is nothing that says that one must go to public schools. As always though, this is about money. What the Bishop really wants is tax dollars normally used for public schools to be applied to private schools, if a student chooses to go to a private school. Again, there is nothing preventing a student from going to a private school and thus nothing to keep kids in the public schools.

While there may be a lot to be said about a school voucher system, I think it is a far cry from Hitler and

Mussolini. True, kids that choose to go to a private school or home school get less use of their tax dollars meant for education. Even that is predicated on the fact that their parents pay taxes, even though 50% of Americans don’t. Yet, there’s nothing new about not getting full use of tax dollars. For example, we pay for the postal service whether we use it or not. If one chooses to use email, UPS, and Fed Ex instead of the U.S. Postal Service, there isn’t a voucher to use for the other mail services. On the other hand, all types of tax dollars are used for programs many of us don’t support. I suppose with our system we all pay (if you’re a taxpayer) for things we don’t want, and we don’t get vouchers to help pay for what we really want. It doesn’t make it right but it is reality.

With the direction public education is going, private schools and home schooling are becoming an increasingly popular alternative. There is a definite leftist tone and agenda to our educational system that supports in part what the bishop said, “…a monolith so all the children would be educated in one set of beliefs and one way of doing things.” Whether a voucher system is the remedy that education needs remains to be seem. Nevertheless, a mighty change in needed in the educational system. Bishop McFadden wants to use the educational tax dollars; I hope he wants educational changes in the public system of which so many Catholics are a part of. In the meantime, I suppose we’ll give to Caesar what is Caesar’s.

MOUTHS SHUT

A 15-year-old boy wrote an opinion in a school newspaper and has been censored, threatened with suspension, and called ignorant by the Shawano School District superintendent in Wisconsin. The boy, Brandon Wegner, who is a Christian, wrote in opposition to gays being allowed to adopt. Another student wrote in favor of allowing gays to adopt.

After the article was published, the boy was summoned to the superintendent’s office, without the parents being notified, and subjected to hours of meetings where the superintendent repeatedly upbraided the boy’s opinion, faith, and beliefs.

There are a lot of problems in education and this is indicative of one of them. There is a social agenda in too many school systems. Yet, it is merely a microcosm of America as a whole. More and more, dissent with the liberal social agenda is being tagged as racist, intolerant, or homophobic. In effect, there is to be no dissent to the liberal social agenda. A person can speak in favor of the social agenda but an unseemly wrath is unleashed if one speaks against it. Little by little, American society is no longer one indicative of Judeo-Christian values. Instead, it is indicative of a liberal agenda promoted by entities from the media to the schools. It won’t stop until we all agree or keep our mouths shut.

DEFINING ISSUES

I mentioned in yesterday’s blog, “Many religious organizations have voiced strong objections as they liken the method that the pill works to abortion.” Some of you wonder how the pill can be likened to abortion. Well, the way the pill works is at the literal heart of the issue.

The pill attempts to stop ovulation in women. If ovulation is stopped then there is no egg to fertilize. However, ovulation still occurs in about 27% of women taking the pill. Thus the pill has two other lines of defense. First, the pill causes cervical mucus to thicken to help prevent sperm from entering the uterus and then the fallopian tubes. Secondly, the pill is over 90% successful in thinning the uterine lining to the point that a fertilized egg can’t attach or implant. It is this last aspect that likens the pill to abortion. Once the egg is fertilized it is a new human being with active cell replication occurring. By the time implantation would occur in the uterus, 7-8 days later, this new being is called an embryo. It is the sloughing off of this living human embryo caused by the pill that is likened to abortion.

Using man-made definitions, some say that pregnancy doesn’t officially occur until the human embryo implants in the uterus. Others say that pregnancy begins when fertilization occurs; therefore, the baby embryo is aborted as a result of the pill making the uterus unsuitable for implantation.

While Christians argue both sides of the equation, abortion after implantation is strongly regarded as killing a human being by Christians, which makes some of the political stances by Christians hard to understand. President Obama is a strong abortion advocate. In fact, while in the Illinois Senate, he repeatedly supported terminating babies that survived abortions. Yet, speaking for my own religion, a majority of Catholics voted for him and other pro-abortion candidates. I realize this is just one issue but it is a defining issue.

The abortion issue has become so political that it has gone away from the rights of the unborn and helpless. Instead, it has gone mainly into the rights of women. Beyond that, it has gone into equal rights between men and women. In fact, just yesterday, President Obama said in commemorating Roe vs. Wade, “We must also continue our efforts to ensure that our daughters have the same rights, freedoms, and opportunities as our sons to fulfill their dreams.” In other words, since men can’t be saddled with pregnancy, women shouldn’t have to be either. It goes along with what he has said previously, “But if they (his daughters) make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby.”

Indeed, t‎he pill and abortion are defining issues of one’s heart and soul. How do they define you?

‎"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish." -Mother Theresa.

SEEMS ODD TO ME

President Obama has ordered the insurance companies to totally cover birth control: no deductibles or co-pays. Birth control will be totally free. Many religious organizations have voiced strong objections as they liken the method that the pill works to abortion. Well, that is a perspective for a different blog post. Today, I’m looking at another aspect.

I understand that this is an election year and that giving perks to groups of people, in this case it is perceived to be women, is the political thing to do. Yet, I wonder if we really thought ObamaCare would yield a system where the government could dictate to the insurance companies, even for political reasons, what it is going to cover and not cover. But, that is not the focus of today’s blog either.

The focus of today’s blog is how odd free birth control sounds while people with major health concerns are filing bankruptcy. Free birth control, really? Is that what we need in a time when health costs are so high that many people can’t afford to keep living? Free birth control just makes the cost even higher to insurance companies so that they will continue to cut coverage where they can and greatly escalate deductibles, maximum out of pocket limits, and co-pays. It just seems odd to me that the number one cause of bankruptcy (medical costs) in America was made worse by the mandates of ObamaCare, and that it is now piling on by mandating something like free birth control. I know it’s a political year but the sick and dying vote too…I guess for a little while anyway!! It all just seems a bit odd to me.

REMEMBERING

I received a thank you card from a friend on Friday for some help I gave her family years ago. She wrote a very nice note; I greatly appreciate it. It’s always nice to be remembered.

I suppose we do lots of things for people in life but we never really consider whether it will be remembered or not. We see the need; we feel led to help; and so we do it. Sure, many politicians, athletes, and movie stars are concerned about their fame and legacy but I think most people are not so consumed. I don’t think most people even give it a thought. Yet, when we are remembered for something we did for someone, we find fulfillment in the recognition of the effort.

In a certain way of looking at life, “we are all connected.” We’ve become who we are through the influences and actions of others. Namely, we’ve been helped in times of little need and great need. It does us well to take the time to thank those along the way who have helped us and influenced our lives. Who can you thank today? Don’t forget to remember your family members too, and our Lord who put those people in our lives.

FAITH STATUS

Although this isn’t the first time, many contend that the Christian Right is dead. After all, who can name a single national leader? Most telling though is that Christians are becoming more pro-choice and pro-homosexual. While Protestants still tend to vote for republicans, Catholic majorities supported both President Obama and Clinton. Tolerance has replaced righteousness and the American Christian culture has slowly adopted its position.

President Obama announced quite some time ago that America is no longer a Christian nation. So what is it? We seem to have become a nation of people who is setting its own standards of ethics and morality. We no longer ascribe to the Judeo-Christian values that we once did. Behaviors and attitudes that were once repented of are now accepted. While legal authority is constantly challenged in this nation, moral authority barely exists. We have largely become a nation of self-rule that ascribes to no higher Divine power or authority, unless it agrees with what we want.

This nation is at a very precarious place in its history. Many feel that we are very near the edge of disaster in many ways, primarily financially and morally. Lack of fiscal restraint and discipline has led us to near financial ruin while lack of moral restraint and discipline has corrupted the soul of this nation. I don’t know if the Christian Right is dead in this nation or not. At best, it is in a very weak state. This country has been undergoing some very fundamental changes that need to be reversed. It’s time for all those who call themselves Christians to inventory what they think and believe, and compare it to the righteous tenants of the faith. We might be surprised at what we find.

LOVED FIRST

I overheard two men talking the other day. One said to the other, “If more people understood how much God loves them it would make it easier for them to love God.” I glanced at the facial expression of the man who was listening. He was going to think about that one. Yet, I think the guy might be right. It is when we feel loved that we more naturally love others. In fact, we typically don’t love those who don’t love us, while we tend to be very open, receptive, and giving to those from whom we feel loved.

Our problem is that we look for human indications that God loves us, and we often have a hard time seeing them. We know that the Bible tells us, “We love because God loved us first.” Those are great words but we are a people who want words, no matter how great, to be felt to some degree…or they don’t seem too real. In other words, it’s great to know that God loves us but where’s the evidence that He does which we can touch and feel?

The theologically minded person would respond that the greatest evidence that God loves us is that He sent Jesus to die for our sins, so that we wouldn’t have to bear the stripes of our iniquities. Even so, that happened over two thousand years ago and it has been put in front of us so much that it’s easy to lose its significance. It’s even easier to lose its message and feeling of love.

Our busy lifestyle is one of the biggest roadblocks to us feeling loved whether it is from other people or from God. We must regularly stop the perpetual motion of our lives and look around us. We need to take time to let our five senses experience life. It’s only when we can see our blessings that we can truly appreciate them. Appreciating our blessings moves our psyche into the mode of feeling. Feelings are what penetrate the cold and hard world around us. To feel God’s love, we need to see His blessings in our life around us, no matter how dim it may seem at times. It’s when we develop a thankful heart that we allow God’s love to penetrate us. It’s in those times that we can say with blessed assurance: “God is with me; God loves me.”

And so, I think the man was right. It is easier to love God when we know He loves us. To really feel His love for us, we must take time and pay attention to the subtleties of life’s blessings around us. It takes effort to develop a thankful heart that is always seeing God’s hand in our lives. Yet, these blessings are the greatest reminders that God loves us. As we take time to be reminded of God’s love for us, we’ll more greatly appreciate our Lord’s sacrifice and we’ll naturally love the one who is our Provision. Amidst it all, we’ll see and feel that God loved us first; we’ll love Him more; and we’ll love others as well.

NEVER KNOW

The death of a 21 year old girl is under investigation. Previously unknown health issues are in question. The girl, Ariane Patterson, was in religion class at her university when she died. Earlier in the day, being her birthday, she tweeted a thank you to God for “another year of life.” Ariane was a college senior majoring in religious studies.

I suppose when it’s your time it’s your time. If being a “religious studies” major doesn’t keep one from dying young, you might think that being in religion class when death came calling might. If neither of those worked, you might think that tweeting to God a thank you for another year of life earlier in the day, on your 21^st birthday, would. Once again though, death proves to strike anyone at any time.

Death is hard to face, especially when it occurs to the young. We all know that we will one day die but it’s something that we usually don’t spend too much time thinking about unless we are looking at life insurance or enduring a life threatening illness. We sure don’t want to dwell on it as it is hard to truly live while thinking about dying. Yet, the unfortunate situation of Ariane reminds us that we could be next and we should always keep our spiritual house in order.

Our faith is one that teaches that we should look forward to our time with our Lord and Savior. Yet, God instilled in us a feverish desire to live. In fact, all of our bodily functions are geared to heal and fight life-threatening paradigms. Even so, we are pretty assured that anyone reading this blog will not be alive in 100 years from now. Our time will come soon enough. While we hope to live a full lifetime, we will be dead for an eternity. In that respect, life in eternity is what we are really preparing for. I hope we are all well prepared because as Ariane tragedy teaches us, one never knows.

HELP FROM A FRIEND

I hope you saw the story of the nurse from Atlanta who donated one of her kidneys to a patient. The patient, Clay Tabor, was diagnosed with Goodpasture's Syndrome shortly after graduating from Auburn University. The disease attacks the lungs and kidneys, although Tabor’s was caught before affecting his lungs. Nevertheless, it had all but destroyed his kidneys. He said, "I was just trying to start my life, start my career, even wanted to propose to my girlfriend soon and then I had to deal with all this. It was frustrating,"

After a year of treatment, Clay Tabor was deemed fit for a transplant. However, it would take a year to get on the list with 90,000 other Americans waiting for a kidney transplant. His mother was a match for him but her kidney linings weren’t deemed suitable for transplant. A nurse, Allison Batson, had become close friends with Clay and his family during his ordeal. She talked to her husband and they decided to see if she was a suitable match. She was. The surgery was recently and they are both recovering well.

I hope you get to read the whole story; it’s a heart-warming story. It does us good to hear such stories every time we can. We live in difficult times with difficult challenges and it’s good to see that people are still loving and giving to those in critical need. As time goes on, Clay Tabor will hopefully live a much fuller life thanks to Allison Batson. As for Allison, she’ll always know that regardless of her duties as a nurse, she can always point to this occasion when she laid a part of her life down for another. She made a real difference in this world. May God bless them both and all the people in this world who seek to help others in whatever small ways we can.

REMEMBERING

We have returned from our trip to Beaufort, SC to see our oldest daughter. We had a marvelous time and a great visit. It all went by too fast though. Next week, our daughter will leave South Carolina to begin her preparations for her deployment to Afghanistan in March. It’s possible we will see her again before she leaves but it is not at all assured. So, we may have seen her for the last time until October.

Our daughter is really looking forward to her deployment, and although we will miss her, we share in her excitement. There are many reasons she wants to go; at the very least it will be an experience of a lifetime. Although she will be in a medical facility far from the “front lines,” I still told her to keep her head down!! In reality, she won’t even be able to leave the large base except for a rare exception. The off-base duties are for the ones like my nephew who is over there right now serving in the war zone. Which reminds me…

For years now, I have prayed for our military each night. Further, I have prayed for our family members by name that are in the military. Just recently, I added two more. One nephew joined the National Guard while another joined the Army Reserve.

I’m sure there are those in the military that you know by name too. It’s good to remember them by name and the rest of the military who sacrifice and commit to the service of our nation’s defense.

FROM BEAUFORT

We’re here in beautiful Beaufort, SC and Eileen just finished doing her studies for the night on the computer. So, I thought I’d write a post.

To conclude the current episode of my chemo drug (Gleevec) and pharmaceutical company (Novartis), I got a final call from Tonisha (from Dr. Tan’s office) Friday just before we left for South Carolina. She said that she couldn’t get me any Gleevec before I left for my trip and she was very sorry. I know she worked hard on it and was getting mixed signals from Novartis. Apparently, Novartis has been very liberal in their willingness to help people with large co-pays and coverage gaps in insurance. However, this year is different. With so many people undergoing insurance changes similar to mine, Novartis is flooded with requests for help. They are having trouble handling all the requests. As a result, they have to come up with new protocols to decide which patients they are going to help. That makes me feel better. If it’s just bumbling, I don’t like it. However, if there are people with less means than us to pay for it, I’m all for helping them first. I still don’t think the chemo medication would be so expensive without the insurance Golden Goose to squeeze from. So, I ordered a thirty day supply of Gleevec for $5,429.70. Yes, the price went up by about $100.00 since last week. I detested and protested buying it but I was out of options. It’s going to be an interesting year.

I’m disheartened that Eileen’s co-worker (teacher) that I’ve alluded to before in the blog is filing bankruptcy over her medical costs. She was diagnosed with colon cancer a few years ago and has nearly spent all her family’s monies trying to live. Despite insurance and external help, the bills continue to overwhelm. The good news is that she is doing rather well considering her original stage four diagnosis.

In other news, we went to Savannah, Georgia today and walked around, visiting all the sites. We also went to their large mall. We had a great time and we are having an absolutely wonderful visit with our daughter.

STILL WAITING

I’ve been sitting by the phone for several days waiting for Novartis Pharmaceutical Company to call. So far, there has been nothing. Tonisha from Dr. Tan’s office has been in constant contact with them but she’s having some difficulty. She says that she usually has smooth dealings with Novartis, nut no in my case. So, I didn’t get my chemo drug, Gleevec, ordered and so far I don’t have any to tie me over. I’d go ahead and order but Tonisha says that Novartis is supposed to call (that day) to confirm shipment; they’ve been telling her that for several days. So, I’m going to take half a Gleevec until Tuesday and then make a decision. In the meantime, we will be in South Carolina for the extended weekend. I’m going to try to think very little about the Gleevec and insurance situation and enjoy our visit with our oldest daughter. I’ll make a blog post again when I get back. Until then, no matter what you might be going through: Keep the faith.

A NOVEL IDEA

I read an article out of Brussels, Belgium that says that priests who abused children will have to pay out of their own pockets. The Belgium church is urging victims to take the priests to court rather than the church. It’s a novel idea but I’m not so sure that will work. The Church has much deeper pockets than a priest.

The Catholic Church has paid billions of dollars to victims of priest abuse. Cases are still in abundance. Oddly enough though, the priests who committed the crimes, the bishops who covered them up, and the Vatican which turned a blind eye has used the money of people donating, or “giving to God,” to pay off the victims. The hierarchy of the church from priest to pope has shoveled out the dollars while very few priests were ever prosecuted or disciplined. Most of them just received a reassignment. In fact, the above mentioned article quotes Belgian Bishop Harpigny, “In all instances of reports of serious pedophile cases being sent to Rome, the Vatican left the decision of leaving the priesthood to the pedophile priests themselves.” Further, “Irish bishops in the 1990s proposed reporting molester priests to police but the Vatican came back with a warning that doing so posed serious canonical problems.” To me, that is unconscionable: The Vatican being more interested in its canon than protecting kids that were being abused.

It may be a novel idea to have abusive priests pay the victims out of their own pocket but I don’t think victims will go for it. Priests aren’t exactly the wealthiest people on earth. Yet, there is something to be questioned about these victims taking the sacrificial offerings of other Catholics, who had nothing to do with any aspect of the abuse, as their bounty of retribution against the complicit priests, bishops, cardinals, and Vatican. Individual victims reap millions of dollars not from the priest or Church hierarchy. They harvest the money from innocent people who have given the money with the intention of helping others in greater need. Yet, that’s the way a litigious society works. Even so, I’d think the Church would do everything including taking the wrath personally from all the priests to the pope rather than use “God’s money” to pay off victims of its clergy. In a way, the Church and the victims have transformed “God’s money” into “blood money.”

PILLS AND BILLS

I got a call early Wednesday morning from Tonisha of Dr. Tan’s office apologizing for not getting back to me yesterday. She said that she was filling in for another person in another part of the office. It left her post unstaffed. She said that everything is in order for Novartis Pharmaceutical Company to consider helping us out, except they need to do the insurance coverage verification. She expects to hear from them this afternoon (Wednesday). Well, that is also my deadline for ordering before the weekend. I have enough Gleevec to last until Saturday. To get Gleevec by then I must order today (Wednesday).

Even if we get help, that doesn’t silence my words about others who are in similar or worse scenarios. Have you ever looked at your EOB (Explanation of Benefits)? I looked at ours online this morning. My family doctor charges $217.00 for a simple routine visit. The insurance company approves $72.10. We paid (last year) a co-pay of $25.00. A cash patient, or one with a high deductible, has to pay the full charged amount. The neurologist I saw charged $256.00 for a lengthy examination. The insurance paid $114.76. The co-pay was $50.00. Dr. Tan charges $220.00. The insurance paid him $79.81. I paid a co-pay of $50.00. My lab tests are around $4,000.00 every six months. I paid very little of that but I suppose I’ll be paying more of it this year because of the insurance changes. Finally, there is Gleevec. My insurance company is charged $6,618.53 per thirty day supply. That pushes the cost of Gleevec up to nearly $80,000 per year!! I knew the cost had gone up. Anyway, the insurance company pays $5,228.32 per month for my Gleevec. Well, they did or use to!! It’s expensive to live and even more expensive to try to keep from dying.

UPDATE:

It’s a little past 11:00 Wednesday morning and I received another call from Tonisha of Dr. Tan’s office. She said that Novartis is referring my case to another department in their company. She said they will call me today and may give me a supply of Gleevec until they decide my case. I’ll just have to wait and see.

UPDATE II:

It’s now 3:30 in the afternoon. I still have no call from Novartis. I called Tonisha again and left a voice mail that I hadn’t heard from Novartis. I need Novartis to tell me if they are going to give me a supply or not, so I can order if they aren’t. I don’t want to order if they will because it will cost $5,253.22 for thirty pills. I’m not supposed to skip a single dose but for that kind of money I might have to miss a day or two. I wonder if Tonisha is gone for the day.

UPDATE III:

Tonisha called me back at 4:15 pm. She was surprised that Novartis hadn’t called me and said she would call them and call me back. She did. She said the lady at Novartis forgot to hit the “processed” button so it didn’t notify the next person to call me for delivery confirmation. She said the earliest they will be able to get me Gleevec is on Tuesday. That leaves me two days without Gleevec. Tonisha said she’ll call the local Novartis representative before she leaves the office and see if she can get me a couple of Gleevec pills to hold me over. I hope she can get it done.