Although a myriad of symptoms keep me from sleeping especially well most nights, tonigh
t my problem is too much anxious energy zooming around my body. Yes, I’m writing the first part of this blog post in the middle of the night, yet to get to sleep. About the time I get close to falling asleep, my mind drifts to today’s appointment with Dr. Tan. As I alluded to yesterday, it’s been six months since I had the specialized tests which indicate the activity of my cancer. That’s a long time to wonder, hope, and pray. I appreciate you doing it right along with me. But it does weigh a little differently when the cancer battle is being waged inside one’s own body. I’m not a nervous type but a lot is riding on the outcome of these tests. Even as positive as I am that the tests will show continued improvement, remission, or “cure,” I’m still a bit anxious. Part of my concern is the way I have been feeling. I like to blame all of my symptoms on the Gleevec and my push to keep going, but sometimes I wonder how much of it is the cancer. In a few short hours I’ll find out. Well, I suppose I should try once again to get to sleep; it’ll soon be time to get up!! I’ll talk to you later after I get my results.
I’m back. Hmmm, where to begin? Well, I was an unintended accomplice to a lab tech losing her job. Also, in a very uncharacteristic mode from Dr. Tan, I witnessed him warn the office staff that he will instantly fire anyone who sends my lab work to the wrong lab… AGAIN!! Yes, despite me reminding the tech and her repeating the correct lab back to me, she sent my blood work to the wrong lab. In Dr. Tan’s discourse, he told the staff that it was written on my requisition form, on the outside of my folder, twice inside the folder, and once on the backside. I’m sorry the tech lost her job but if she can’t get such things right, she needs to work in a different field. After the appointment with Dr. Tan, they drew my blood again. This tech said, “Wow, I’ve never seen Dr. Tan upset like that before; we don’t like to see him upset.” I responded, “Well, this is an easy one to avoid.” She assured me she would get it right. Having said all that, the wrong lab they sent it to is the same wrong lab they sent it to last time. Therefore, Dr. Tan was able to compare it to that time. My numbers are better but still worrisome. Dr. Tan told me that he’s going to wait until I go into “Transition” before doing another bone biopsy. At that point he’ll refer me to M.D. Anderson in Texas. I was stunned. At the beginning of all this last year, Dr. Tan told Eileen and me that my variety of CML wouldn’t go into remission but would eventually “transition” into the acute form. That is the very nasty and wicked stuff that pierces my heart to even think about. Although my numbers have gone way down, Dr. Tan apparently expects them to just hover in the low range until it goes crazy. My last appointment was six months ago, I have to see him again now in three months. Bummer.
My Gleevec dosage has to remain as is and Dr. Tan wrote me another prescription for nausea medicine. He’ll email me with the result of today’s blood draw, provided it goes to the correct lab!!
I’m still a little in shock with a touch of bewilderment. This is not the way I had it figured to go. I was sure that I’d be in remission or at its cusps. I didn’t think the conversation would be about “Transition.” By the way, isn’t “transition” the especially tough phase of labor? Anyway, this has set me back a bit today. I’ll lament it for a brief period and then get on with living life. I’ll remind myself of what I told Dr. Tan, “I’m not complaining; I know a lot of people have it a lot worse.”
So, thank you for your continued love and prayers, and for remembering me this day. On a scale of ten, I went in to the clinic feeling like a nine and came out a two. I’ll be back to normal before most of you read this blog post. Thank you again for your love, support, and prayers.
t my problem is too much anxious energy zooming around my body. Yes, I’m writing the first part of this blog post in the middle of the night, yet to get to sleep. About the time I get close to falling asleep, my mind drifts to today’s appointment with Dr. Tan. As I alluded to yesterday, it’s been six months since I had the specialized tests which indicate the activity of my cancer. That’s a long time to wonder, hope, and pray. I appreciate you doing it right along with me. But it does weigh a little differently when the cancer battle is being waged inside one’s own body. I’m not a nervous type but a lot is riding on the outcome of these tests. Even as positive as I am that the tests will show continued improvement, remission, or “cure,” I’m still a bit anxious. Part of my concern is the way I have been feeling. I like to blame all of my symptoms on the Gleevec and my push to keep going, but sometimes I wonder how much of it is the cancer. In a few short hours I’ll find out. Well, I suppose I should try once again to get to sleep; it’ll soon be time to get up!! I’ll talk to you later after I get my results.I’m back. Hmmm, where to begin? Well, I was an unintended accomplice to a lab tech losing her job. Also, in a very uncharacteristic mode from Dr. Tan, I witnessed him warn the office staff that he will instantly fire anyone who sends my lab work to the wrong lab… AGAIN!! Yes, despite me reminding the tech and her repeating the correct lab back to me, she sent my blood work to the wrong lab. In Dr. Tan’s discourse, he told the staff that it was written on my requisition form, on the outside of my folder, twice inside the folder, and once on the backside. I’m sorry the tech lost her job but if she can’t get such things right, she needs to work in a different field. After the appointment with Dr. Tan, they drew my blood again. This tech said, “Wow, I’ve never seen Dr. Tan upset like that before; we don’t like to see him upset.” I responded, “Well, this is an easy one to avoid.” She assured me she would get it right. Having said all that, the wrong lab they sent it to is the same wrong lab they sent it to last time. Therefore, Dr. Tan was able to compare it to that time. My numbers are better but still worrisome. Dr. Tan told me that he’s going to wait until I go into “Transition” before doing another bone biopsy. At that point he’ll refer me to M.D. Anderson in Texas. I was stunned. At the beginning of all this last year, Dr. Tan told Eileen and me that my variety of CML wouldn’t go into remission but would eventually “transition” into the acute form. That is the very nasty and wicked stuff that pierces my heart to even think about. Although my numbers have gone way down, Dr. Tan apparently expects them to just hover in the low range until it goes crazy. My last appointment was six months ago, I have to see him again now in three months. Bummer.
My Gleevec dosage has to remain as is and Dr. Tan wrote me another prescription for nausea medicine. He’ll email me with the result of today’s blood draw, provided it goes to the correct lab!!
I’m still a little in shock with a touch of bewilderment. This is not the way I had it figured to go. I was sure that I’d be in remission or at its cusps. I didn’t think the conversation would be about “Transition.” By the way, isn’t “transition” the especially tough phase of labor? Anyway, this has set me back a bit today. I’ll lament it for a brief period and then get on with living life. I’ll remind myself of what I told Dr. Tan, “I’m not complaining; I know a lot of people have it a lot worse.”
So, thank you for your continued love and prayers, and for remembering me this day. On a scale of ten, I went in to the clinic feeling like a nine and came out a two. I’ll be back to normal before most of you read this blog post. Thank you again for your love, support, and prayers.
As I told you when I first learned of your diagnosis, mi marrow es su marrow.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
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