Tuesday, March 22, 2011


A friend said to me Monday, “I had a peach margarita and I really needed it!” She told me the details of the drama that I knew had besieged her life recently, which includes the death of her father, mother, and husband. In a way though, she is dealing with those afflictions fine. It’s the drama with her daughter---her only child- - - that is internally consuming her. It seems that mankind can deal with a lot of pain but we have an extra little reservoir for our children, whether they bring us tears or joy.

There are a lot of scary times in raising children such as when they are sick, hurt, sad, fearful, disillusioned, and such. But perhaps the scariest time is when they begin making their own decisions. Our opportunity as parents to influence their current decisions is primarily the residual effect of what we invested in them in the years past, in the children’s younger formative years. It is often this residual passive influence that can often be the righteous clincher in their tough choices.

The Bible teaches us that “without vision the people perish.” I think the same is true for families. In fact, I’m not sure it can be stressed enough how important it is to have a vision of how we want our children to turn out, and then take parental steps to help insure its fruition. Merely wishing, hoping, and praying that our children turn out right is usually not enough; it takes interactive parenting. That’s why humans spend so many years with parents. Yet, even when we parent by the book, our children are still ultimately free to make their own heart-breaking decisions. Yet, with visionary parenting they are less likely to do so.

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