SLEEPING WITH A BUG

Besides leaving me with a sore throat, my “little bug” from the hospital had me on the run most of the night. When I came back to bed each time, I couldn’t sleep very easily as my systems were still quite upset. Sleeping with a bug in my system has never been my forte. As things started to settle down though, I noticed the silhouette of Eileen fast asleep. For once, she had gone to bed before me. As I lay there at an increased distance from her, careful not to breathe my germs on her, I placed my hand upon her. That little connection started me to thinking. I thought about what a great person she is and how wonderfully she relates to people. I thought of her in her roles as a teacher, mother, and wife. Finally, I thought of how exceedingly blessed I am to have her love and devotion. Next, I thought of our children (including our daughter-in-law and grandchild). I gave them extra individual prayer time as I dwelled on them and the blessing they are. I fell asleep so very thankful of our family blessings.

We probably don’t do that enough…take the time to actually dwell on the blessing that our family members are. It’s good to take time to bathe in the details of their humanity and the way that they navigate through this world. It’s also good to take inventory of their special attributes and the way that they bless this earth. Life is a great challenge and we ought to make sure we take time to count our blessings, especially the blessings of those around us…even if we are sick and sleeping with a bug.

A LITTLE BUG

This is getting crazy. Once again after coming back from the hospital, after my EKG, I am ailing. I tried to be careful what I touched while at the hospital and I tried to keep my hands away from my mouth. I washed my hands as soon as possible after I left. I first spent about 30 minutes in the admission’s waiting room trying not to breathe every time someone hacked, coughed, or sneezed. When I was taken to the cardiac waiting area there were several people waiting on family members who were spewing germs. I was glad when they called me back to the cardiac area. Although I touched the bike and such that I’m sure wasn’t cleaned between patients, at least I was in touch with heart patients and not infectious diseases patients. Nevertheless, I seem to have contracted a bit of a bug.

It’s strange because I’ve not had a cold or flu since I started taking Gleevec. Although I have a lowered resistance, the cold and flu must not know about it. However, I’m always picking up these little bugs from public places, especially medical facilities. I’m sure that if I spent more time around medical facilities that I’d either build an immunity to it or I’d get really sick. I don’t plan on increasing my time there so I hope to never know. Even when I’m at restaurants, I wipe my utensils off prior to using them and try to use a straw when drinking so as to not put my mouth where someone may have left some cooties!! Anyway…

Well, in a couple of days I’m going to check to see if my EKG results are in. I hope to have shaken this bug by then.

STRESS EKG

I learned that there are several different types of Stress EKGs. The actual name of the EKG stress test I had is the Se Stamibi GXT. Maybe that means something to some of you but it meant nothing to me, and I didn’t look it up. I thought my Stress EKG would consist of walking on a treadmill with electrodes hooked up to me. The first indication that I was wrong is when the assistant asked if I’d have any trouble riding a bike. I responded, “No.” Then she took me back to a room where I was asked to take off my shirt. The lady used what felt like medium grade sandpaper to sand off the areas where she was going to put the electrodes. I looked up in time to see another lady walk in with a HUGE syringe. I casually suggested that syringe wasn’t for me. She laughed when answering,”Yes.” I then asked, “You’re kidding right? That’s not really for me, is it?” She said that they had to give me an I.V. port so that they could inject a radioisotope (and a wash) for images of my heart. Needless to say, I wasn’t ready for that. I really don’t like needles and if I have to have one, I like to know ahead of time. The nurse said I looked white and I knew I was sweating; she asked me to lie down while she inserted the needle. I was okay with the needle but my systems were a bit repulsed by the whole idea. It was probably good that I reclined back and breathed. The insertion of the needle was smooth with no problems.

I was then instructed to get on the bike and to pedal the bike to where the monitor read at least 75 but not more than 80. Meanwhile they would wait until my heart rate got up to 140 before injecting the isotope and taking a scan of my heart. Since I am such a fine physical specimen (ha, ha) it took a while for my heart rate to reach 140 despite them increasing the resistance of the pedaling. That was evidence enough for me that my heart is just fine!!

They then took me to a room across the hall and took more scans of my heart. These scans took around fifteen minutes to perform once the machine started doing its thing. Then the attendant said he has to check the scans to see if I need a CT scan. They determined I did so the machine did the CT scan for a few minutes. After checking these scans, the I.V. was removed and I was sent on my way.

All that remains are the results. Dr. Tan told me to call his “Patient Navigator” to get the results. I’ll do more than that; I’ll go get a copy of the results. Knowing how reluctant medical staffs are to give results before the doctor discusses them with the patient, I’m anticipating a little problem. I don’t see Dr. Tan for a year. The last time I had something like this was when the old battle axe used to work there. However, Dr. Tan is always pleased to give me copies of my results and I’ll invoke his name if I have to: I’ll have the “Patient Navigator” go ask Dr. Tan. If he’s not in the office that day, I’ll do what I did with the old battle axe, I’ll claim my patient right to have copies of my records.

Having said all that, I’m not going to expect problems but I’m going to be prepared if they come. The new staff has been very cordial, helpful, and sweet. I’ll expect them to be that way about my results too… but just be prepared if there is a glitch.

LIVING WATER

Psalms 1:3 tells us that the blessed man is like a tree planted by streams of water. It’s interesting to note the backdrop of which this is written. These streams of water are in a desert. Even today, as one walks in the ancient desert, there is a tree here and there next to a wadi. A wadi is a stream bed which is dry except during heavy rains. So, there are trees along the wadi stream beds and essentially nowhere else. These trees don’t represent where water is always visibly flowing; these trees are evidence that living water has been absorbed by the tree from a source of water not always seen.

Too many times the chief indicator of our Christian faith is found in the cross we wear around our neck or the claim we make when it’s advantageous. The true indicator whether we are planted by living water is by what we exhibit. In the same way that the tree reveals the existence of living water by the existence of its trunk, branches, and fruits, the existence of our Christian values are the testimony of our living water.

We can plant a tree anywhere in the ancient desert but the tree only prospers if planted by a stream of living water. Likewise, people are planted all over this planet but we will only spiritually prosper if we are planted by the stream of Living Water.

POLITICAL RACISM

If you listen to the media and the political left you would believe that the political right is racist. Nearly every time a conservative disagrees with President Obama there is a racist accusation made somewhere by someone. The endless stream of racism charges was continued Friday by actor Morgan Freeman. The fact is that if it was not for whites President Obama would have never been elected. Now that many of those whites have seen what President Obama’s policies have done to America, they are against him. That is not racist.

So, what made me think of this? Well, Herman Cain, a black man, just won the Florida straw poll over a field of white people. I’m not sure he’ll win the nomination but perhaps the racism charges will stop for a day or two. Herman Cain is the former CEO of Godfather’s pizza. While he’s new to politics, he has a lot of common sense and is very principled. I don’t know if I’ll vote for him, but if I don’t, it doesn’t mean that I’m racist.

DR. PEPPER

As I watched a college football game, there was a Dr. Pepper commercial that came on. I was reminded of their ordeal a couple of months ago when they left “under God” of the Pledge off their patriotic cans. Among their various excuses, the one that stuck with me is that they didn’t want to offend anyone.

It’s amazing that when precautions are made not to offend someone no one is ever concerned with offending the people of God. It’s seems those who are on the fringe of societal ethics and morals have the loudest voice and biggest political stick. Those who believe in good and bad along with right and wrong are incessantly required to compromise those standards to accept what is not. It’s all a move to neuter the faith. After all, what is the faith without the morals and ethics which define it? It is then no different than the ways of the world.

Whoever thought that we’d live in a time in America where a company felt more comfortable taking God out of the Pledge rather than leaving Him in? There’s a meticulous effort to remove God from this nation and as our guiding principles. It seems that Dr. Pepper has joined the effort.

DISPLACED AGGRESSION

An example of “Displaced Aggression” is you’ve had a tough day at work and you come home and kick the dog sleeping on the porch. In other words, you take your aggravation and frustration out on someone or something else. I’m reminded of that as I look at the “soak the rich” mantra that is being parlayed around. The major problem that is facing America is jobs. Without jobs, not only do people not have the means to support themselves but it takes money out of the economy and lowers the income tax roles. Yet, soaking the rich will not add one new job to the free market economy. When the government is having a tough time, it’s always popular to go after the rich.

Even liberal think tanks have rebuffed President Obama’s assertion that the middle class pays a higher rate than the rich. President Clinton recently stated that increasing the taxes on the rich won’t help the economy. Taking money out of the pockets of the people who supply the jobs doesn’t entice them to hire.

Yet, there is a deeper concern here for me. It’s always popular to ravage the person who has a nicer car, larger house, better vacations, nicer clothes, and such. That is nothing but envy and covetousness. During these difficult times, it’s important that we not allow our frustration and fear to fuel the dark side of our humanity. Displacing our aggravation and frustration about the economy onto the rich won’t solve our problems. It won’t cause a job to open to us and it sure won’t make the high cost of insurance and living go down. It can, however, make us cynical, jealous, envious, and retaliatory people.

GOVERNMENT GREED

During economic good times, the government rapidly expands programs that cannot be sustained during economic downturns. Families can’t operate like this. A family can’t take on monthly payments that it can only afford during financial good times. When downturns happen to a family, we have to cut back. When downturns happen to the government, they want more taxes from families who are already cutting back. The same is with businesses. They are in a cycle of downsizing to stay afloat. What does the government want to do? Raise their taxes.

The government has an insatiable desire for money. Call it greed if you like. Its programs grow and grow to the point of creating a debt almost beyond our nation’s ability to repay. Whenever people call for cuts in government programs, the weeping and gnashing of teeth begins. It’s as if the government must be fed at all costs.

This isn’t just at the federal level. Local governments have the same mentality. All government taxing authorities are using every conceivable means to get money from us so it can fund its mammoth programs. In California, a couple has been fined 300 dollars for holding Bible study sessions in their home. A repeat offense will cost them 500 dollars. Their offense is having a “religious, fraternal, or non-profit gathering” in a residential neighborhood…without a permit. I guess Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts who meet in private homes will be next.

Similar to all the children’s lemonade stands that were shut down this past summer because the kids didn’t have permits, the government is letting its greed get in the way of common sense and decency. Yet, desperate governments have always taken desperate actions. This may be just the beginning.

PINWHEEL PHILOSOPHY

I saw on our local TV news cast that one of the local high schools made “Pinwheels for Peace.” With so much criticism of our schools for not only what they teach but what they don’t teach, and Eileen being a teacher, I listened closely. One of the interviewed students said, “Pinwheels for Peace teaches that people should be accepted no matter how they dress or how they act.”

I hope the student’s statement isn’t the stated objective of the lesson. If it is, these high school students, not middle school, wasted whatever part of the day or days they spent making these juvenile pinwheels. Not meaning to blow their pinwheel ideals apart, but people are in fact judged by what they wear and they are certainly judged by the way they act. If the students dress like Goth and gangsters, like a lot of kids think is cool, they can be expected to judged and treated differently. Further, a person can’t act however he wants and expect that he will be accepted. In fact, prison and hell are full of people whose behaviors aren’t accepted.

SHEEP AND GOATS

Especially in the ancient Near East and in some places in America, sheep and goats are herded together. Not only are goats more unruly and rambunctious than sheep, but too many goats in the herd will often lead the sheep astray, away from the shepherd.

The Lord is our shepherd and we are His sheep. Unfortunately we have goats in our herd too. Many of the goats call themselves Christians as they graze and walk with the entire herd. But when it comes to truly following the Shepherd, they have their own philosophies, theologies, and religious practices. They constantly want to walk a path different from what the Shepherd has given us to follow.

As we look at the landscape of Christianity in the world, we see that we have a lot of goats in the flock. They really aren’t that hard to identify. The look differently; they sound differently; and they especially walk the faith differently. Yet, as a people, we seem to follow the goats more and more instead of the Shepherd. That which was wrong and sinful years ago is no longer wrong and sinful among the goats. Unfortunately, the goats are leading more and more sheep away from the voice of the shepherd.

When there are large numbers of goats among the sheep, the two often don’t feed or rest well together. Thus, the shepherd may have to separate them for grazing and for sleeping. During God’s judgment, the Good Shepherd will also separate the goats from the sheep putting the sheep on His right and the goats on His left. We will all be sheep or goats.

RACE DAY

Before I leave the topic of this past weekend, I want to mention a little more about our three ladies who ran the race. After all, it was no small feat for any of them.

Our oldest daughter had sprained her ankle during a mountain climb last month. It was the same ankle that she severely sprained during her last year of graduate school at the University of Florida. The timing for such an injury is never good but that injury threatened the timing of her Officer Development School six months later. The injury put her on crutches for weeks and then on to slow extensive rehab. Last month’s injury was not near as bad but was still bad enough to stop her running activities. She had only been running for a week before the Lt. Dan 5K on Saturday. She would have liked a better running time but knew her cardio wasn’t as good as usual yet. Our daughter runs in these kinds of races frequently and it was fun to be there and support her run in this one. She did great.

Our daughter-in-law is famous for joining a cross country team in high school so her sister’s team had enough members. Well, that’s not the famous part. The famous part is that she made a wrong turn on one of the long runs and got lost!! Anyway, this was her first 5K race since those days. In the years since, she has gotten married and had a baby: Lindsay. With Lindsay as her constant companion until our son gets home from work each day, she didn’t train for this race like I think she wishes she had. I think race-day kind of snuck up on her. True to her nature though, she didn’t quit. In fact, she didn’t quit the entire 3.1 miles. She kept going. We’re real proud of her for running the race and finishing it so strongly.

Despite Eileen’s busy schedule, she makes time to run regularly. She doesn’t run mile after mile like our daughter does, but she does run. Eileen teaches all day and then has three master’s degree classes that she is taking. She also finds time to be a wife and mother too!! It’s usually dark when Eileen runs. First, she usually walks with me for my three times a week walk and then goes out again when we get back. She wears a reflective belt although our subdivision is well lit. She then puts a reflective vest on our dog, a shepherd-lab mix. The dog, Ellie, really likes to go on walks and runs. Ellie doesn’t wear the reflective vest because she is black and hard to see. She wears the reflective vest because I want any observers to clearly see that there is a big dog running with Eileen…if you know what I mean. Anyway, Eileen ran about a mile several times a week interspersed with walking. That was her strategy with the Lt. Dan 5K. She would run and walk, run and walk. She hoped to finish the 3.1 miles in less than 45 minutes. She was surprised and we were very happy that she finished in 36 minutes. That’s very much like Eileen, always doing more than could be asked or expected.

So, it was nice that all three had very successful races. It was the kick-off event for a great weekend filled with activities and family time. Finally, since most of my blog readers aren’t linked to me on Facebook, I want to share one more picture. We took Lindsay to the drive-in movie to watch the new Smurf movie. Lindsay spent her time on the blankets which were spread on the ground outside the car on a beautiful night. Well, of course it was dark outside while the movie was playing and Lindsay’s every move couldn’t be seen. After she fell asleep she was put in her car seat. After the movie was over and we came into the light, we saw what had been missed while Lindsay was playing at the edge of the blanket. It looks like she had a fun time!!

JUST BECAUSE

Yesterday I mentioned that Lindsay wanted me to hold her all day. It started while the ladies were running the 5K race and my oldest son and I were watching Lindsay. Lindsay was in a back-pack child carrier on my son’s back during the race. I played with her a little bit but she soon fell asleep. She woke up after the race and that is when it began. We started walking to the Chocolate Tree, a candy factory, and Lindsay wanted me. All weekend she would squirm out of other people’s arms and reach for me. Sometimes she would squirm down out someone’s arms, even her parents, walk over to me with her arms outstretched for me to pick her up. Although I felt a little self-conscious about her wanting her grandpa (me) so much in lieu of the others, I got over it quickly as I sure enjoyed Lindsay’s love and attention!! But that got me thinking…

Believe it or not, there are some people who love me. If you ask them why, I’m sure there are all kinds of reasons why they do. Some love me for what I do while others love me despite what I do!! But, why does Lindsay love me? She loves me for no reason at all. She just does. To me, that is a beautiful testimony to what our love is supposed to be like too. We aren’t supposed to just love people for what they do for us or for how they make us feel when we are around them. A component of our love is supposed to be the simple child-like love that loves just because.

Although I see Lindsay on Skype each week for about an hour, I won’t see her again in person for a few weeks. I don’t know if she’ll remember me in the same light then. But for now, I’ll relish being loved by her “just because” and remember the lesson she taught me about child-like love.

LT. DAN

We are in beautiful Beaufort, SC. at our daughter’s. Our oldest son’s family is here too. Our daughter, daughter-in-law, and Eileen ran in the Lt. Dan’s 5K race Saturday morning.

“Ever since playing Lt. Dan — the character in the movie ‘Forrest Gump’ who lost his legs fighting in Vietnam — actor Gary Sinise has devoted time and treasure to helping the nation's military personnel and first responders.” All proceeds are donated to The Independence Fund with a “mission to provide the tools, therapies and guidance to those veterans severely injured in the War on Terror that they otherwise are not receiving.”

Our oldest daughter came in third in her age bracket with a time of 26:05. That’s especially good considering she is just coming off an ankle injury. Eileen came in second in her age group with a time of 36:06 and our daughter-in-law finished strong too.

My son and I watched Lindsay during the race in which I took the opportunity for her to attach herself to me. It worked; all day she wanted me to hold her. That was wonderful!!

We are heading back home later today.

LESSONS IN LIFE

In our children’s more formative years, we used to have weekly family meetings. The meetings would convey faith lessons and life lessons. I believe it is the parents’ responsibility to try to shape the minds and hearts of their children rather than leave it to the randomness of the world. Still today I enjoy discussing various topics with our children.

We have two of our children living at home right now. Each week we watch a Ray Vander Laan video and then discuss it. This brings me great joy as I get an in depth view of the moral moldings of two of our children. We have great discussions which quite often have fascinating perspectives I’ve never thought of before. They are truly inspirational. There are other times that I gather the kids together and talk about something on my mind. The other night was one example.

I reminded them of what I’ve always taught them. Truth can come from the unlikeliest of places. Often times it comes from people we don’t want to listen to. I also said that if we pay attention we can hear God talking to us in many forms. True, sometimes it’s from someone we don’t want to listen to but it can also be from random sources. I pointed to the Pensacola News Journal article that told of several bus accidents this year, although the school year isn’t a month old. People are hitting these big yellow buses while being distracted when talking or texting on their phones. Some just aren’t paying attention. I told the kids how that article spoke to me and I knew I needed to talk to them about it. So we talked about cell phones and driving. I further reminded them that we can gain many blessings and avoid troubles if we just pay attention to the things around us which speak to us, and act on them. I pointed out that news about a DWI case ought to speak to us to never be intoxicated, and especially never drive intoxicated. In these ways, we can learn from other people’s mistakes and be reminded of who we are and whose we are. If we interact in the world with the right perspective, we should come out a stronger soul, not a weaker one.

Like all parents, we can only do our part in trying to prepare our children to live righteous lives. From there it is up to them. Yet, teach we must and we must remember that the greatest lessons we teach are through our actions.

NOTHING ABOUT SOMETHING

So, really don’t have much today... but that’s not stopped me from writing before!! I have no idea what I’m going to write about. My mind is somewhere else today. Sometimes I feel so blessed that my mind can’t sit still. I’m still beaming over the results of my cancer tests and the attitude of Dr. Tan towards me and my prognosis. Sure, I expected the tests to come back negative but when there is so much riding on it, it’s hard not to be a little apprehensive. There is that constant reminder that my cancer is supposed to go active at some point. The reason Dr. Tan tells me of the new medicines for my leukemia is to give me hope that there will be an answer to my cancer when it does go active. Although I really like Dr. Tan, I’m glad I don’t have to see him for another year. However, it’s good to know that he is still going to track my cancer every six months, just in case.

I’m also very thankful while being so mindful about all those who are praying for me. In addition, in response to yesterday’s blog post, I received very nice emails, texts, phone calls, and even Facebook “likes” and comments. It’s nice to know so many people are in my corner. In fact, my state of mind is such that I still don’t mind having to have that stress EKG.

I think the stress EKG will be a waste of time. I agree with Dr. Tan that my fatigue is due to Gleevec. Nevertheless, my family history means he has to take this precaution. I walk a little over a mile at least three times a week so I hope to go awhile before I tire during the test. However, my fatigue is not classic exertional fatigue. I can go and go; fatigue rarely stops me. It’s the recovery period that is the problem. The more I do, the more time it takes me to recover over the next few days or so. Although I remember enough cardiology to be dangerous, that doesn’t sound like a heart condition to me. To say the least, I don’t need a heart condition. Anyway, I hope this stress EKG is just a waste of time. Although I despise having medical procedures performed on me, I’m tolerating this one because I’m so happy and thankful for my good cancer report.

Well, for not having much to say today…I think I’ve said plenty. Thank you again for all your interest in the blog, in me, and in my family. I especially appreciate the prayers.

DR. TAN VISIT

First and foremost, my cancer test came back negative. So, I’m still in remission; thank God!! I have to continue taking the oral chemotherapeutic, Gleevec, and Dr. Tan said there is a third new leukemia drug out for when my cancer goes active. He said that my prognosis continues to look very favorable. He’s a little concerned that my white blood cell count has dropped further below normal, although it’s still tolerable. It just means I have an even lowered immunity and increased susceptibility to pathogens. He asked me if I ever get the flu shot and I responded, “Never.” He laughed and said that is okay but I had to get the pneumonia shot because of my lowered resistance. I asked if it could be done without a needle. He replied, “Where would medicine be without needles,” and then he laughed. I made a few argumentative comments but he was insistent about the pneumonia shot; so I relented and consented.

I continue to be anemic which could explain some of my fatigue. The Lortab and other pharmaceutical concoction may have something to do with it too. Dr. Tan blames most of my fatigue on Gleevec but with my family history he wants to be sure there isn’t a cardiac component to it too. So, I have to get a stress EKG done on the 27th. A week after that I’m supposed to call my “Patient Navigator” to get the results. I never heard of a Patient Navigator before but it’s a person who “helps patients, families, and caregivers navigate the many systems needed during the cancer journey.” If the Patient Navigator helps the process, I’m all for it.

Dr. Tan asked if I’m still having eye issues, G.I. problems, and leg cramps. I told him I was but that it was manageable. He said these side effects of Gleevec are common but to let him know if they get worse. Besides being very personable, Dr. Tan always takes his time and answers all my questions; He seems to really care. I like that about him. Dr. Tan wants me to return for blood work in six months but not see him until next year. I’m supposed to call the Patient Navigator after my blood test in six months to get my results.

After getting all my appointments arranged. I was escorted to another part of the clinic to get the pneumonia shot. I asked if the reason I was being escorted was because they were afraid I’d walk out without it. The lady just laughed and said that it’s just a service they provide so patients don’t get lost. I sat in that waiting room for just a few minutes before I was called. I told the nurse that I didn’t like needles. She said that she is afraid of needles but that makes her very good and gentle at giving shots. What could I say? I hoped she was right. She was; she did a great job and it was finished in no time.

Well, I’m elated to still be in remission. In fact, I’m so elated that I didn’t mind the shot too much and I’m not as disjointed about the stress EKG on the 27th as I could be!! By the way, while the receptionist was on the phone scheduling my EKG, the person on the other end was asking her for my personal data. I told the receptionist to tell the other lady that I’m a very nice guy. She did!!

TODAY

Whew!! I’m glad that is over!! When my arm gets stirred up that much, I usually have nearly unbearable arm pain and headache for about a week. This only lasted four days. I’m feeling much better; thank God. Even so, that’s not what is mainly on my mind at this moment. I have an appointment with my oncologist, Dr. Tan, this morning at 9:45am. I expect that my leukemia continues to be in remission and that my spleen and everything else continues to improve or have a good report as well. However, with so much at stake I am a little apprehensive. I’ll let you know in tomorrow’s blog how it went. Thank you for all the prayers and concern.

MOTIVES

Even when we do the right thing, we need to do it for right reason. Perhaps nothing is weighed like our attitudes and motives. For example, if we go to church because it makes good business sense, is socially pleasing, or to make ourselves look reputable we are displaying wrong motives for going to church. If our primary purpose for going to church doesn’t include learning to love God more, then we ought to reexamine our purpose. Just going to church to learn more about God is fine, but somewhere we have to seek to know God. As we’ve said, knowing all about God is not the same as knowing God.

Memorizing Scripture verses and church doctrine is where we need to look at our motives as well. We can memorize verses to seem religious and impress others. Or, we can memorize them to help us in our journey and offer them to others when they are in need.

There is a lot of religion in today’s world and a decrease in faith. A just published study says that young people don’t really contemplate right and wrong except for rape and murder. Nearly everything else is considered a “personal matter.” A prevalent but disconcerting view is, “I would do what I thought made me happy or how I felt. I have no other way of knowing what to do but how I internally feel.” As the author concluded, “Morality was once revealed, inherited and shared, but now it’s thought of as something that emerges in the privacy of your own heart.”

Because we want to seem politically correct and not seem judgmental, we are losing our moral basis. We are allowing our moral motives to be replaced by secular ways. Yet, the motives of our heart determine who we are… yes, even more than our actions do.

AT NIGHT

I had extra trouble sleeping Sunday night. It’s been one of those weeks and Sunday was one of those days. At the risk of understating the situation, I felt pretty rough all day. I’m not sure what set my arm off so badly but it was one of those episodes which worked itself into sickness and a pounding headache, despite medications. I despise taking medication but when this thing gets going, I know not to play with it. It’s hard enough to deal with despite the medications. So anyway, I knew getting to sleep was going to be a little tricky. But I was able to nap off and on through the night. I got up at one point and while walking around I thought about the blessings that I am so very thankful to God for. I suppose that led me to walk over to Eileen’s side of the bed and look at her in the dim light. I was there about five seconds when she said, “Hi.” I leaned over and hugged her; she held me tightly. While we were still embraced, Eileen said something to me. I want you to guess what she said. Did she say, “What were you doing standing there looking at me? How would you like it if I stood over you while you were sleeping?” Or, did she say, “You are the best.” Yes, she said I was the best. I responded that she was. I then took my pounding head and arm and went back to bed. I quickly fell asleep. I am blessed.

9/11

After watching the T.V. remembrances and reliving the events of September 11, 2001, I summarize my feelings with President Bush’s words, “Evil is real and so is courage.”

EGO AND SOUL

I generally go for a walk at least three times a week. Eileen comes with me although she often runs with the dog afterwards. Eileen will be running in a 5K race with our oldest daughter and daughter-in-law next weekend. Eileen and I walked a 5K a few years ago that our daughters ran in. I don’t remember our time, we finished together, but there is one thing about the race that sticks out in my mind: the number of “old people” that passed us!! I thought we were walking at a pretty good clip but some of these old folks walk about as fast as I run!! Once in a while there would be one of these old people just ahead of us and we’d set our sights on passing him. A lot of times though, they had more in their tank that we did. I’ve heard similar stories from those who walk or run in races. Nevertheless, as is said, “What is hard on the ego can be good for the soul.”

I’ve been reminded of that saying as I read through the Book of Acts. There are several times that people seek to kneel down to or worship one of the disciples after a miracle is performed, but the disciples stop it. They respond, “We are just humans too.” I’m sure their ego would have liked the praise and reverence, but their soul benefited more from spurning the glorification.

Sometimes we want too much glorification too. We want lots of credit for things we do or even things we don’t do. We like those boosts to our ego. It’s part of the mental survival trait that we think well of ourselves. We should think well of ourselves but it should be in balance. A little ego goes a long way. We should find comfort in the saying, “What is hard on the ego can be good for the soul.” I’ll remind Eileen of that when she runs in the 5K next week!!

MERRY GO ROUND

I obtain my oral chemo, Gleevec, through a mail order prescription company. Now, that may sound a little hokie but that is the way that some insurance companies handle expensive medications. In fact, if I refuse to use their mail order service then I have to pay the difference in the cost of using a local pharmacy. Anyway, yesterday I went online to refill my prescription but it wouldn’t go through. The online pharmacy that my insurance company has me use is Prescription Solutions. So I called them. After being on hold for an eternity, I got a newbie who put me on hold several times while she apparently had to ask questions. No problem, we all have to learn sometime and at least she was asking. She eventually got a supervisor to help her figure out what was wrong. They concluded that there was a problem with my insurance company. So, they gave me a direct line to my insurance company. It was a wrong number; the number was for Medicare. So, I called the number on the back of my insurance card. After going through many automated answering devices, I ended up talking to a pharmacy representative. She told me that I need to talk to a different representative. She put me on hold and transferred me to someone else. That person couldn’t understand my problem; she said there is nothing wrong with my coverage. She then asked me if I had a direct number to the drug specialty division of Prescription Solutions. Not having it she gave it to me. This all took so long that the low battery signal started beeping on my home phone. Now, I was back at square one talking to Prescription Solutions again but to a different department. I called and spoke to a guy who said the problem was that my prescription had expired. He transferred me to the oncology division and gave me their direct number for next time. I’ve been doing this for two years without a direct number, always going through multiple transfers; that’s why I usually do it online. Anyway, the oncology department told me that Dr. Tan’s office had been sent a fax a month ago but they had not received a reply. They advised I call Dr. Tan’s office to expedite the process, so I don’t run out of Gleevec.

Gleevec is not something to run out of. It is designed to have a certain dosage circulating in me at all times. A dosage is not to be missed for any reason. So, I called Dr. Tan’s office but they were out to lunch; I left a detailed message and Prescription Solutions’ direct phone number for them to call, asking them to call me back so that I could get the prescription processed after their call. After siting and thinking about it for a moment, I decided to go up to Dr. Tan’s office myself. I got there just about 1:00 pm and told the receptionist the situation. Now, this is a different receptionist than the one I used to have all those problems with. I think that one got put out to pasture. Anyway, the receptionist called the person within their office that handles Prescription Solutions and gave her my information. She relayed back to the receptionist that she just got my phone message, would look into it, and call me. Just as I got home she called. She said that she never received a fax from Prescription Solutions but called in a renewal for me. I didn’t really care who was at fault for the problem; I was just glad she called in the new prescription. So, I called the direct line to Prescription Solutions’ oncology department and got my new prescription ordered. They’ll send it out Monday; they have “free” one day service; I’ll get it on Tuesday. Otherwise, I would have run out at the end of next week. That’s perfect. As Ma from Laura Ingalls Wilder would say, “All’s well that ends well.”

IN PRAYER

It’s been on my mind to share a part of my nightly prayer. First, I want to tell you about my Godmother who I used to drive 25 miles each way to visit in the nursing home during my lunch hour (I had two hours for lunch). As she neared death, for some unexplained reason I leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Louise, remember me.” Since her passing, I have always thought that she remembers me in her prayers. That might creep some folks out to say that a dead person is praying for me but I believe she is not dead, but alive in heaven. I don’t know what she does all day and all night in heaven but I figure that she spends a part of it offering prayers for us who are living on earth caught up in this spiritual warfare. It’s just that I believe she “remembers” me by name. Still sound creepy?

Well, that’s just part of it because I pray that the “Blessed Mother, Louise, all the angels and saints, and all on earth who are willing to pray for us, pray for my family and me.” I am a fervent believer in prayer. Even if you think I’m being sacrilegious, I hope you will give it a second thought. It’s a real comfort to know people are praying for you.

SATISFACTION

In Henry Blackaby’s book, “Experiencing God,” he says that we will never be satisfied to just know about God. Our soul is only satisfied by personally knowing God. He makes the point that we can know a lot about God, know all kinds of things about God, but still not be a true follower. I’m keen on saying that satan knows all about God but satan doesn’t love Him. I suppose that is the question for us too. Do we just know all about the Bible, God, catechism, and religion etc…or do we have a personal loving relationship with God? If we can never seem to find true satisfaction in our lives, this might be the reason why. It might be time to invest in personal heartfelt prayer. How does one do that? Just talk to God and be sure to throw in a little confession and thanksgiving too.  You’ll find God and satisfaction.

FAITH

I was reminded the other day of a sermon our priest gave some time ago. He was referring to the Garden of Eden and the serpent speaking to Eve. He said, “The serpent didn’t really speak to Eve. Have you ever seen a snake speak? If you have, I have a straightjacket for you!” He got a big laugh from the congregation, but I wasn’t laughing. No, I haven’t seen a snake talk but there are a lot of things in the Bible I haven’t seen either. For example, I haven’t seen God in a burning bush, the Red Sea parted, a man live in the belly of a fish, a donkey speak, virgin birth, Jesus walk on water, feed 5,000 with a few fish and loaves, and someone rise from the dead three days later etc.

My questions to our priest would be: If we aren’t to believe these things and only believe what we’ve seen, what is faith all about? Further, I would wonder what the Church thinks it stands for. Or does it stand apart from the hard-to-believe parts? In other words, has religion gotten so big and so independent that it can stand apart from the faith?

Of course this was just one priest’s view. However, it brings to attention that our faith has many aspects which can be hard-to-believe, because we haven’t seen them. Yet, our ability to believe says more about what we think God can and will do and less about what we have seen. Like the priest, perhaps a person’s salvation doesn’t hinge on believing every hard-to-believe Bible narrative. Nevertheless, we rob our faith and our lives of the omnipotence and richness of God when we sell Him short. Besides, when each person removes from the faith parts that he doesn’t believe or want to follow, soon there is no faith left…except a faith that he himself has defined and designed. A self-defined God and a self-defined faith is part of what has gotten this country in the mess it’s in.

FAVORITISM

I can’t count the number of times that I’ve been told that a certain denomination or a certain church is better than all the others. I’m certain you know people who look down their haughty noses at others because of their denomination or their supposed standing within the denomination. Perhaps your denomination is one of them; I know mine sometimes is. The point is that too many people think they are favored because of their denomination or church. “Favored” by God I suppose.

If you are staying with us in the one chapter a day Bible reading, we have gone through the entire Old Testament, Gospels, and now we are in Acts. It was in reading Acts, chapter 11 that I came across this: “Then Peter began to speak: ‘I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear Him and do what is right.’”

I’m not a Bible scholar but it sounds to me that God’s acceptance of us is based on our personal righteousness, not on our denomination or church membership. In the above Bible verse, Peter was saying that Jewish believers were not favored over Gentile believers. Yet, look at all the energy people of our current Christian denominations expend fighting each other. Peter’s words are as true for us today as they were back then: God’s acceptance of us is based on our righteousness.

DOWNPOURS AND DRIPS

It’s quite natural for us to seek forgiveness when we have really messed up. On both a spiritual and natural basis, we want to absolve ourselves of guilt feelings. Furthermore, if we can keep others from being hostile or upset with us, we prefer that too. At the very least, if we are heartily sorry, we want to rest in the forgiveness of God, regardless of how others may react to our misdeeds. So, how often is it that we do something which rises to the level of needing forgiveness from God and others?

Perhaps you’ve heard the expression: “It isn’t the downpour which erodes the rock; it’s the constant drip which does.” The same is true in life. It’s isn’t the big downpour of a wrong which erodes the strength of our soul, it’s the constant drip of the little things. Most of us don’t commit offenses on a regular basis which need overt forgiveness. Not only are we not murderers and such, but we also generally don’t truly wrong others. We don’t commit many downpours. Thus, that is what we judge ourselves by. But what about the constant drip of our negativity & poor attitude, criticisms & biting tongue, hardness & haughtiness, coveting & envy, and resentment & bitterness? What about the other things too that we partake in which are affronts against God’s righteousness that we know we should rid ourselves of?

While we might think that it’s only the big downpours which ought to drive us to our knees, in reality, it’s generally the constant drips which are inhibiting our relationship with God and others.

RAIN

As we are forecast to get twelve inches of rain from our portion of Tropical Storm Lee, I’m quite aware of parts of the country that really need rain…especially our farm families up in Illinois. Some of the earlier forecasts showed the remnants of this tropical storm heading up to Illinois, but now it looks like it will go east of there. Texas is another place that is going through a drought while other areas are getting rain excesses. So, for those who especially need rain for their crops and livelihood, you remain in our thoughts and prayers while we guard against our forecasted deluge.

We went to our youngest daughter’s football game Friday night. She is a drum major in the band. The football team got trampled. Of course we weren’t primarily there for the football game although I like watching football. We were there to watch our daughter. She did great.

I made an early morning run yesterday to get a pallet of sod. With the help of our daughter and Eileen, we got the ground prepped and the sod laid just before the rains really set in. Our son was giving a private baseball lesson. Although I wore a brace on my right arm, my arm just can’t tolerate too much activity. So now, Saturday evening, although it was good to be outside working on the yard project, my arm has been quite upset ever since. Since then, I’ve taken a nap, eaten supper, and now ready to settle in for some college football, as we listen to the rain in the background...remembering those who are in great need of rain.

THE LEFT SIDE

I’m happy to report that my LEFT shoulder is about 90% well. Left shoulder you ask. I haven’t mentioned it but I hurt it early last month. It was one of those times that I was working on Eileen and compensating for my inept right hand when I overstrained my left shoulder. Actually, it felt and sounded like something tore. Okay, no big deal… just use my other arm until the shoulder heals, right? Well, no. The other arm happens to be my right arm which can do very little by itself.

Since the accident when I was ten years old I have been using, overusing, and abusing my left arm in compensation to my right. I’ve been able to tell the effects for several years now but it has not been anything significant until the recent shoulder injury. This injury showed just how much I depend on my left arm in everything from shampooing my hair to reaching for a glass of water. Those things have been a real challenge in the last several weeks.

So, I’ve been reminded that I not only have to watch out for my right arm, but I’m extra dependent upon my left arm.

WHO ARE WE?

Some of you “Dancing With The Stars” fans may have already heard of the controversy. Chaz Bono the only child of Sonny and Cher has been named to the new season. Neither Eileen nor I have ever watched an episode of the show so you can probably tell what prudes we are going to be about Chaz Bono being invited. For those who don’t know, what is Chaz famous for? He/she is famous for having had a sex change (transsexual) operation. She is now a he.

I really don’t care who DWTS invites on their show, but I do tire of the social misfits, freaks, and those in opposition to God’s ways being purposely thrust onto the American public as something to be regarded as acceptable behaviors. But, the question remains: Is being a transsexual sinful? In prepping this blog post, I’ve read all kinds of opinions. Obviously this surgery wasn’t available in Jesus’ time for Him to happen to have commented on. The Catholic Church and other Christian hierarchies hold that transsexual surgery is a sin because it is the mutilation of the “Temple of God,” rejecting God’s given identity, and a whole host of other reasons. After reading all the various reasons of why transsexual surgery is a sin, I had some other questions…based on the same reasoning. Is breast augmentation/reduction for cosmetic purposes a sin? What about butt augmentation, male augmentation, Botox, and other surgical alterations done to the “Temple of God” done for vanity reasons. If these are sins, what about surgical procedures for cosmetic birth defects? Where do these sexual and physical changes and augmentations cross the line of sin? Is it a matter of what degree it’s done…like drinking one beer is okay but drinking twelve is not?

Well, I have no idea how all this shakes out in God’s mind. Nevertheless, when it comes to sex changes and such, I still do not like it being paraded in a way or forum that America is tempted to accept it as normal and acceptable behavior.

INVERSION TABLE

Many years ago, Eileen was in a car accident in which she got hit in the driver’s side door. She came out of it fine except for stubborn and persistent low back pain. Over the years she has had all kinds of physical therapy, rehabilitation exercises, and treatment from three different chiropractors. She has only gotten marginal relief. I can give her relief by using “old school” techniques but I have to use my right arm; that throws my arm into a major tizzy. Not only can I then not work on her for a while, but she won’t let me knowing the toll it takes on my right arm. So, I do what I can; she gets periodic treatment from a chiropractor; and she puts up with a lot.

After trying many different modes to help her, I recently purchased an inversion table for her. From the outset, it helped her a lot. In fact, her back feels better than it has in years. She’s been using it for a few weeks now and goes long periods now without any back pain at all. We are so thankful.