KEY INGREDIENT

It’s been said that from the moment we take our first breath we start the dying process. That is, each moment that passes we get closer to the end of our lives. That may be true but I think that would be an unfortunate way to look at life. Yet, while there are those who seek to live life to the fullest, there are also those who seem to be focused on the end. Similarly, there are those who focus on the positives of life while others focus on the negatives.

Even though it is true that positive-minded people add years to their lives and life to their years, the opposite is very true also. Negative-minded people are sicklier and don’t tend to live as long. Even those who just seem to show up for life: Void of ambition, hobbies, or responsibilities generally don’t fare as well either. When things don’t go well, especially in drastic circumstances, it’s easy to get sucked down into the whirlpool of negativity.

It’s important to keep our focus on the positive. We have to deal with the negative and unfortunate situations of life, but our attitude should remain positive. The Bible teaches us to “rejoice always.” That isn’t always easy to do but it is a key ingredient of happiness, thankfulness, faith, and health.

USE IT OR LOSE IT

The Surgeon General’s mental health report states that 9% of Americans have mental illness to the point of being “significantly” functionally impaired. He goes on to say that an astounding 20% of children have mental disorders to the point of “at least mild functional impairment.” That’s to say that nearly one in ten adults have a mental impairment to the degree that they are deemed “significantly impaired.” What do you want to bet that they have been grouped together and “serve” us in Washington?!!

Mental illness is not really a joking matter but what is a joke is that one out of ten adults and two out of ten children are mentally impaired in this country. Yet, where there is no hope there is often despair. Why is there so much despair in such a rich, powerful, and Christian nation? Why is there such mental illness in a nation that is full of conveniences, amenities, and services?

There are too many people who don’t strive in life. While we all complain about the burdens of life, they are what keep us mentally and physically healthy. Without responsibilities, ambition, and goals, the mind becomes available for mental calamity. While more and more people seek to be recipients of government, it can be said that it is the struggle of life which keeps us sane. Mental distress is found in idle minds and idle hands. The human psyche is designed to strive, endeavor, and produce; mental health is found in busy minds, not in those without ambition and purpose. While having our provisions handed to us through the government may seem like a good thing to some, it isn’t the mentally healthy thing to do. It has been shown many times over that the happiest people in the world are the givers and producers, not the takers.

While too many have true mental illness, there are also too many who bring functional mental impairment upon themselves. The mind is a classic example of “use it or lose it.”

TIREDNESS

I’m not sure why my blog-idea well has been running a little low lately. Could it be that a tired mind is to blame? No, not tired because I do so much thinking!! but tired because I am tired. Eileen starts back to school in a couple of weeks; where has the summer gone? We have seemingly been on the go since she got out of school. It has been an extremely enjoyable summer filled with blessings and good times, but busy. Perhaps that is what makes it seem like it passes so quickly. Nevertheless, the pace of it all lends to some weariness.

One problem that seems to get to me is that I don’t give my tiredness its due. I’m like a little kid sometimes in that I’ll do whatever I can to avoid taking a nap, no matter how tired I am. Especially with Eileen home for the summer and our two resident kids home more than they will be once school starts, I don’t like to miss the opportunities to interact with them. Moreover, even when I take a nap I am still tired.

Sleeping can be a nasty habit when we have a chronic illness or get older. Sleep can become such a welcome respite from the happenings of life that we look forward to sleep more than we do living life. I’ve seen it many, many times. There are days that I have slept all but a few hours. Even then it gets hard to climb out of bed. Granted, it’s usually after a long trip where I’ve pushed myself way beyond norms or my arm is crazier than usual, but the strong luring call of the bed is a little scary. The call of the bed will rob us of living life if we give it half a chance. I choose to maintain a good balance but error on the side of keep going.

I await my next blood tests to see how anemic I am these days. I’m quite sure that the drain of the Gleevec battle and anemia are at the root of my tiredness; the busy pace just adds to it. I have an evening appointment today so I will definitely take a nap so that I can be my sharpest. If I can get a blog idea to push through the fog of my tiredness, I’ll talk to you tomorrow!!

CUCKOO

I sat down to write a blog post but didn’t know what to write about. I asked my son if he had any ideas. He was standing by our cuckoo clock when he looked up and pontificated, “Life is like a cuckoo clock; if you don’t wind it then it won’t run.” I asked him how we are to wind our lives. He responded, “That’s for you to figure out; I’m not going to write your blog!” Obviously, my son didn’t have an answer to the question so we’ll see what we can come up with. So how do we wind our lives so that we keep going?

I’m not sure there is a better way to energize our lives than to have hope & faith, a positive perspective/attitude, and the peace of prayer. Life certainly takes a toll as it extracts our emotional and physical energy as well as aging us each moment. It takes effort to counteract the natural unwinding of our lives. Only a part of our lives runs very well or very long without our attention or energy. If we leave our emotional and spiritual health in the hands of everyday life, we will run down in no time. Those without hope and faith in God and each other not only run down very quickly, but they are very hard to wind back up. They stay wound-down, negative, or miserable.

Although we physically toil throughout our lives, it’s the mental and spiritual elements which keep us wound up or wound down. If we don’t utilize the emotional and spiritual graces that God avails to us, we shouldn’t be surprised if we always feel run down and our lives seem a bit cuckoo.

ANOTHER WORD

A little over a week ago I wrote about how we use the words love and hate to the point that they’ve largely been diluted of their meaning. I mentioned that we use the word “love” to not only describe our feelings for another or God, but we also use “love” to describe our affinity for chocolate. Today, I want to talk about another overly used word: Depression.

“I’m feeling depressed” is a phrase used to describe everything from the loss of a card game to being suicidal. We throw around the words “depressed” and “depression” so much that we really don’t know what it truly signifies. We use it like it means that our energy levels or our spirits are a little low. There’s much more to true depression than that.

Although I’m not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or any other kind of mental health guru, I break depression down into three main categories. The first and most common is Functional Depression. Functional Depression is brought about by long-term “stink’n think’n” or negative perspectives and attitudes. When we look on the negative side of life for too long we are apt to fall into an emotional habit of gloom and melancholy. Like all depression, it tends to feed upon itself. The more negative we are the more negative life will seem. The more negative life seems, the more negative we become…and on and on. It’s a vicious cycle that sometimes requires help to break.

The second category, Clinical Depression, is what I categorize the level of depression which is so deep that it takes psychiatric drugs to make a person functional. In other words, the Functionally Depressed can get rid of their depression by changing their attitude, perspective, and emotional environment. They can be made normal by developing thankful hearts rather than being negative complainers and adjudicators of the world. With Clinical Depression, however, it takes medicine to get into the Functionally Depressed arena in which changes in attitude and perspective can help. Psychiatric research says that medicine alone, without counseling (change of perspective), is rarely effective.

The last category I use is what I call “Shock Depression.” This is the depression which occurs after a major shock in life. It often follows the death of a loved one or a major illness like a heart attack, stroke, fracture in the elderly, disability, or cancer. In these cases, the physical shock to the body and mind lends to a depressed emotional state without first going through the “stink’n think’n” phase. The throws of the trauma often open the door to depression without having first gone through a negative thinking phase. This can become a Clinical Depression quite rapidly if it isn’t recognized.

Regardless of any depression classifications, depression can be a very debilitating condition. It is said that 9.5% of Americans are depressed. Especially in a nation which is so blessed, that is an astounding number. It’s sad that so many people have such a negative outlook on life, work, and family etc. that they open the door to depression. Once depression gets a hold of someone it can be hard to countermand. It can be said that depression has its own way of thinking and speaking. Depression likes to tell us that we can do less than we can; things are worse than they are; we need more sleep than we do; and that we feel worse than we do. To effectively treat depression, the affected person must have a strong desire to change their current perspective, have ample moral courage, and be willing to let go of the benefits of being depressed.

The next time we are low on energy or feeling some malaise, we might want to be careful about saying, “Oh, I’m feeling kind of depressed today.” It might just initiate the beginning of something we don’t want anything to do with.

TREE TRIMMING

We’ve been spared major hurricanes for several years now. Even the tropical storms have been relatively gentle to us, although they have dumped a lot of rain on some inland states. We have a very large oak tree in the front yard which was left leaning after our last hurricane. Although it has a tilt towards the road, our experience tells us that the tilt is little indication of which direction a hurricane might take it. The tree was getting so thick with branches that it let little sunlight or rain through it for quite a radius. Knowing that tree companies are hard to get once a tropical storm is in the Gulf, we had a tree company get the tree “hurricane ready.” On Monday, for nearly three hours, they pruned the tree with the use of a bucket truck.

Like our tree, I think that we sometimes get a little thick in our thinking…not letting the sunshine of wisdom or the nourishment of rain pass through. As the years pass by, it’s easy to let unpleasant experiences with people and life taint our general overall perspective. While our actual negative experiences may be rather few, it seems natural to let the negative experiences have a profound effect on us and those around us. Our thinking gets so thickened and full of redundant branches that we need an occasional pruning too. It’s good to periodically take emotional inventory to see what negative characteristics have crept into our psyche. Perhaps we’ve become resentful, hold grudges, carry hurt feelings, or have become too indifferent. These are good matters to prune from our minds. Then we too can stand in the strong winds of life and allow the sunshine and nourishment of life to flow through us.

BACK HOME

We returned from our quick trip to Illinois in which we pushed right along getting up there and back. We encountered a lot of construction zones while northbound and southbound, but only a couple of them had any evidence of construction. The construction zones were all cleared out except for the slower construction speed limit signs. It seemed that most of the drivers ignored the signs and continued speeding by. I assume they are familiar with the area and knew that the zones were void of any construction. I hope that is the case; it would be bad if people are ignoring construction speed limits because so many of the zones are vacant.

We enjoyed our visit with Eileen’s family. Eileen has nine siblings and we were able to see them all despite their busy schedules. Everyone coming over to Eileen’s mother’s (Eunice) house on Saturday made it quite convenient and we appreciate the fact that these gatherings are done each time we go up there. It might seem that it would be crowded in the house with that many families and family members congregated. It doesn’t ever seem like it though. Even though Eunice has a nice sized house, there are people everywhere when the ten siblings along with their kids and grandkids get together. Even so, it never feels crowded and we always thoroughly enjoy visiting everyone. Eileen has a wonderful family.

The down side to our visit is that Eileen’s mother, Eunice, has been having some health challenges. It’s wearisome to realize that there really isn’t anything we can do except hope and pray she recovers fully and as speedily as possible. At 85 years old, bouncing back is proving to be an intricate challenge for her. We’d appreciate your prayers for her.

A LITTLE BREAK

Even a labor of love benefits from a little break sometimes. We are on the road right now headed to Illinois. We are going to visit Eileen’s mother and the rest of the family. Rather than write several blogs ahead of time, I’m just going to sit back and take a break from writing the blog for a few days. I’ll post again on Monday. I realize that not reading my blog daily may be a hardship for some!! Just think of it as a character building time!! I’ll talk to you again in a few days.

POOR AMONG US

The Lord Jesus said, “The poor will always be with you.” According to the Census Bureau, more than 40 million Americans (one in seven) are poor. There’s no doubt that the world’s poor and America’s poor are two separate entities. When we think of the world’s poor, we think of nothing to eat, barely clothed, nowhere to sleep, little water, and a scarcity of personal belongings. That is not the same image we get when we think of America’s poor.

The Department of Energy (et al.) shows that the average poor family in America, as defined by the Census Bureau:

* “Lives in a home that is in good repair, not crowded.

* The home is equipped with air conditioning, clothes washer, and dryer.

* There is cable or satellite TV service.

* Prepares meals in a kitchen with a refrigerator, coffee maker and microwave as well as oven and stove.

* Enjoys two color TVs, a DVD player, VCR and — if children are there — an Xbox, PlayStation, or other video game system.

* Had enough money in the past year to meet essential needs, including adequate food and medical care.”

The above may describe the “average poor family” in America, but designating these people as being “poor” hurts the cause of those who truly are poor. It skews the image. The poor should not be defined as those who don’t have as much stuff as someone else. No one minds helping the truly poor either through the church or via government programs. However, tax dollars shouldn’t go to buy DVD players, satellite T.V. and such.

Americans are the most generous people on earth and we prove it over and over again. We like helping those truly in need. However, when the line delineating the poor is moved up to include all the people listed above, it breeds cynicism among the givers. When Americans give to help the needy, they expect the money to go to the needy as defined closer to the world standards rather than by the Census Bureau.

When the Lord said that we will always have the poor among us, I don’t believe He was thinking in the same terms as the Census Bureau.

BLESSED

I was flipping through the channels when I saw a sportscaster who covered our son’s college games. He told of a guy that an ambulance crew took to the hospital; he had stage four cancer. At the hospital, the crew asked the patient if there was anything else they could do for him before they left. The patient responded with a very weak and raspy voice, “Yes, you can take me to my son’s ballgame tonight.” While the patient was getting his blood transfusions and such, the ambulance crew worked an arrangement with the doctors to indeed take the patient to his son’s game. That evening the crew loaded him on the gurney and took him to the game. The patient watched the game from the gurney. To top it off, he got to see his young son hit a home run. That was a nice “sports” story.

When I watch video clips like this or read stories of others who have stage 4 cancer and such, it really affects me. Although I too have cancer, we are in two different leagues. The patient I spoke of was almost too weak to speak or much of anything else. He sure couldn’t write a blog or other things that I do. This patient will likely die soon enough leaving a young wife and son to find their own way. In view of that, it’s hard not to look at my own situation and count my blessings. It’s the reason that my blog posts aren’t a continuous update of the ups and downs of my journey. While I can think on other things, that is what I hope most of my posts will be about. When I write consistently about how I’m feeling, that is your clue that things are pretty tough.

Some days it takes determination to get going and to keep my mind right. Yet, I just have to take a quick look around to see just how truly blessed I am.

CHOOSING

From various directions, the government has been usurping many of our freedoms. In the name of everything from national security to political correctness, we are becoming a more governed society. Yet, there is one freedom which remains in our full control: Freedom to choose our attitude/perspective.

While it is important to maintain a good attitude in the complicated and strenuous times, it is very difficult to do if we can’t even control our attitude in day-to-day scenarios. There is no doubt that life can offer some very challenging situations which dare our ability to cope or overcome. Even then though, we must maintain a proper attitude if we hope to make proper decisions.

Most of the time, we don’t deal with endless crisis situations. Instead, we deal with the regular daily travails of life. It’s in these simpler conditions that we must discipline our minds so as to be in control of our attitude. While we can’t always choose what happens in life, we can always choose our attitude.

Choosing our attitude is a great freedom. It has allowed people to endure and triumph through the most dreadful situations mankind can ever face. If others can have great attitudes amidst horrendous times, surely we can too in the times we face. No matter what we face, we are free to choose our attitude.

THANKFUL HEART

The other day I read: “What if you only had today what you thanked God for yesterday?” Well, we can’t do anything about yesterday so what if we rephrase it: “What if the only thing we have tomorrow is what we thank God for today?”

Being thankful really doesn’t do anything for God’ psyche or ego. Being thankful is for our benefit. It is to our benefit to be thankful to God; it keeps our focus on Him. Being thankful to God allows us to seek a life which is governed by His ways rather than the ways of this world. Being thankful does a work in us that brings healing and wholeness to our spirits.

Having a thankful heart to God will also give us a thankful heart to others. We often encounter people who go out of their way to do a good work for us and others. Even if we notice, too often our level of gratitude isn’t even high enough to simply say thank you.

We join a whole new spiritual and earthly realm when we have thankful hearts. Thankfulness works miracles as it connects us to God and to others.

REPORTING IN

It’s a good thing that it’s about time for me to give a health update because I’m not sure what I would have written about today. It’s been one of those segments of time when my battery has been dwindling down. However, I’m doing a little better this evening.

I’m writing this post late in the evening on Friday and so far this is the first day this week that I’ve been able to keep my supper in me after taking the Gleevec. The verdict isn’t completely in for the day but I’d say that I have a decent chance of keeping my supper in me this evening. The Gleevec has been rearing its ugly head and been making things a bit unpleasant. My constant companion these past two weeks, nausea, has been getting a little carried away. It takes a lot to make me vomit but Gleevec packs a pretty powerful punch.

So, my energy level has been very low but I have gotten quite a few things done this week. I needed to mow our yard today but I went to a movie with Eileen instead. We watched Transformers. Although that typically isn’t our type of movie, it was quite good. Anyway, there is always tomorrow for the lawn.

The muscle spasms in my legs have been misbehaving too. I won’t let Eileen massage them deep enough to do any real good; they are just too sore right now. I’ll wait until my legs settle down some and then we can go from there.

My arm has also been a constant irritant. Besides its normal mischief, I’ve been going from the hot outside to air conditioners and fans. It always takes me awhile to get adjusted to that each summer. Nevertheless, it’s not worse than normal and I especially appreciate that right now.

So, anyway, things are going fairly well but they need to go a little better. This evening could be the beginning of something better.

A SPECIAL WORD

Not only is love a very complicated emotion, but the word itself is very complex. We use the same word to describe our affinity for chocolate that we use to describe our deepest feelings for another. In some ways, the word love is an overused utterance which has lost some of its power.

In our own house, among the words that we restricted, we limited the words love and hate. Those are very powerful words when used in their truest form, and that is what we tried to preserve. Our children didn’t say they loved chocolate or that they hated peas. Love is reserved for those deepest feelings we should hold for God and others, while hate is something we should reserve for abominations such as sin. In that way, love truly means something, as does hate.

With God, love is more than an empty word or simple affection. Love for God compels obedience and action as its natural by-product. Our everyday use of the word love should be similar. It seems that when we use a word to express our greatest affections that it ought to be a different word than we use to describe our affinity for something like chocolate. Having said that, I don’t want to take away how some people truly feel about chocolate!!

At the other end of the spectrum, perhaps we’ve all experienced those who say they love us but don’t seem to hesitate too much to act in a manner contrary to the word. In these situations, the word love is used to mask true negative inner feelings or intentions. The word is used but its benevolent meaning is severely lacking.

If we aren’t careful, the word love can come to mean very little. It ought to be held in high regard and used to connote something special.

GIVING ADVICE

Giving advice is delicate commerce. It can create hard feelings and resentment when it isn’t welcomed, but it can be salve to an undecided mind or to someone weighing consequential options.

When our children are young or we have an authority position over someone, our advice can be synonymous with a directive. Giving advice can just be a softer style of giving a directive. Nevertheless, the advice carries an expectation that it be followed. We sometimes make the mistake of attaching expectations to our advice in other situations too. Regardless of the wisdom in our advice, attaching the expectation that our advice be followed is generally not a good thing to do with family and friends. Even when our children get older and on their own, regardless of what our wisdom tells us is the best thing for them, it is generally a relationship mistake to attach expectations to advice we might give them. Whether it is to a friend or family member, attaching expectations to even our softest advice can be perceived as devaluing their intelligence or threatening their intellectual independence.

For those who say they don’t really offer advice, they give opinions, the same dynamic is true. Giving opinions which are expected to be heeded is the same thing as giving advice with expectations attached.

Either one places our desires, wisdom, or wishes upon another person in the place of their own. Thus, we are expecting them to live their life according to us, not them. That perspective, regardless of how delicately transmitted, is usually met with great natural resistance. There is something deeply seeded within our survival mechanism which generally doesn’t like to be told what to do. Unless we are in an authority position over another, we should exercise great caution when telling another what to do whether it is in the form of advice or opinion. Advice given in the form of intelligent options or considerations without attached expectation is usually welcomed and appreciated.

DEBT CEILING

I suppose we’re going to watch another battle of political wills come down to the wire. Once again the country is portrayed as being in a situation which requires drastic steps or a major catastrophe will occur. The current crisis is the debt ceiling. Once again, after spastic spending by those in Washington, there is the need to raise the debt limit so that we can go farther into debt… in order to pay our debt. It sounds like what happens to some with credit cards. Anyway, all these wonderful programs that the government thinks we have to have are being funded by borrowed money. We don’t really own our programs; the Chinese own most of them. The government never has enough money and never has an end to ways of spending money. It’s just like us only we can’t tax someone to account for our spending problems. A lot of people have been warning Washington about its reckless spending for a very long time. Our debt amount is a real threat to the solvency of this nation. Increasing taxes does nothing to discipline their spending habit. It just gives them more money to spend. Thus the cycle continues: Tax and spend.

GOOD EARTH

I made a special note when reading part of the Gospel of Mark the other day; the same verse was read at church this weekend: “Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.” That seems so true. We want to be righteous and perhaps even holy. However, dealing with the various issues of life chokes it right out of us. It’s easy to do the right thing if we are never in a situation where the world beats, tempts, abuses, and chokes our good intentions. It really does take courage, strength, and discipline to exhibit moral character. The greater the stress we are under the harder it can be to do right. The ways of the world can weigh heavily upon us. Even so, that is what separates us. It is required of us to do the right thing regardless of what the world puts up against us. We need to be good earth for the Good seeds to be sown in.

BAPTISM II

Lindsay’s baptism was held in conjunction with two others. Everything was going along just great until the priest asked each family to read one of the letters which were written for the child being baptized. If you recall from yesterday’s post, each of us was to write a letter to Lindsay as to how we see Lindsay in the years to come with the influence of God and the Church. Anyway, when it was Lindsay’s family’s turn, my daughter-in-law asked me to read the poem I wrote. After ample resistance from me, her persistence, other’s insistence, and the whole group looking at me…I surrendered. Quite off guard and unprepared, I stood among the three families and read the poem that I wrote to Lindsay. Although my daughter-in-law later said that a couple of women behind her were crying as I read, I still told her that I owed her for putting me on the spot like that. And so, indeed, I do owe her. I owe her many thanks for giving me the honor to read my heartfelt words at the baptism of our granddaughter!! I will always cherish it. I will also cherish the fact that regardless of my time on earth, Lindsay will grow up knowing that I read her poem aloud at her baptism. I just hope her parents don’t tell her that I did it very begrudgingly at the time!!

Lindsay did real well at the baptism. She likes water so the water was not an issue. She was very tired though and fell asleep in her dad’s arms while we were taking pictures afterwards. Lindsay was wearing a beautiful baptismal gown that my mother made. Lindsay’s parents kept some of the holy water used in baptizing her, our son is the Godfather, Eileen stood in for the Godmother, and we will all keep the memory of a great event.

BAPTISM

Yesterday was Lindsay’s baptism. It might sound as if it is a little late to be baptizing an eight month old, but there were extenuating circumstances. Lindsay’s Godmother is a military wife and stationed in Arizona. They have been in the process of being stationed back here. So, it appeared several times that the Godmother was going to be able to come back here to participate in the baptism. To make a long story short, Eileen stood in for the Godmother, who is our daughter-in-law’s sister. Get all that?!

The priest had the family write letters to Lindsay for her baptism. The letters were to be how we see Lindsay in the years to come with the influence of God and church. A couple of the letters were read as part of the baptism ceremony then her parents will give all the letters to Lindsay when she gets confirmed. Pretty cool idea. My letter to Lindsay is in the form of a poem. Girls like poems don’t they? I hope she’ll one day enjoy reading a poem about her written by her grandfather. Well, it made sense to me!!

We will return home later today.

CLOSING THOUGHTS ON THE CASE

Although judged not guilty, Casey Anthony has a lot of explaining to do. Perhaps not to any of us but her day of reckoning will eventually come, if she is indeed guilty of killing her daughter Caylee. Casey’s behavior has been atrocious and barbaric to say the least. I realize that people do all sorts of crazy things while mourning the loss of a loved one, and the brain circuits don’t always synapse correctly. However, some of her behavior surely leaves forensic psychologists and psychiatrists scratching their heads. Whether Casey killed her daughter or not, Casey’s behavior is maternally very unnatural. For those who are really interested, maybe Casey will tell her side of the story one day. Other than pathologically psychological reasons, it seems implausible to reasonably explain her unnatural motherly behaviors. Perhaps psychosis is her explanation and the rest of the explanation will be eternally settled.

Caylee’s Law is a petition that is circulating stating that it is a federal offense to not report a “missing child within 24 hours and failure to report a child's death within one hour.” Another version states that a missing child has to be reported in a “timely manner.” Well, who’s going to define timely manner? Anyway, I can’t imagine waiting 24 hours to report that a child is missing. I know children get on the wrong school bus sometimes and so mandating a report to the police if a child is missing for an hour might be a bit much, but would you allow your child or grandchild to be missing for even a few hours without reporting it, alone 24 hours? I’m sure there will be a Caylee’s Law and someone will try to work out reasonable legal language. It seems weird that such a law is even necessary but I would likely support it.

I saw a political cartoon today which asks the media, “Since Caylee Anthony died in June of 2008, 983 Americans have been killed in Afghanistan. Can you name any of them?” The media figure responds, “No…is it important?” Furthermore, 45 murders are committed every single day in the United States; 11 percent of them are children. According to the International Business Times, 200 women kill children in the United States every year. What made the media choose to sensationalize the Caylee Anthony death? I don’t know. While the deaths of our military personnel, other children, and other people go unheralded, the media continues to choose what our nation focuses on. It will even render the verdict of the cases and do our political voting if we let it.

PROFITEERING

The Entertainment Weekly headline reads, “Casey Anthony Verdict Gives Nancy Grace Her Best Ratings Ever.” She’s not alone. Nearly all news commentators have received big bumps in their ratings since the Casey Anthony verdict was reached. I’m not talking about pure news broadcasts. I’m addressing the political pundits/commentators. From Nancy Grace to Bill O’Reilly, these political pundits have benefited from what is regarded as an unexpected verdict. Let me put it in a very crude manner. The pundits are paid based on their ratings and so these pundits are making money off of the death of Caylee Anthony. Why do I put it so crudely? These pundits are the same people complaining that Casey Anthony may get a big payday for her story…“making money off the death of her child.”

I have news for the pundits. Not only are the pundits making more than Casey will ever make off the death of her child, parents write books all the time about the misfortunes that befall their children and families. The bookshelves are full of such stories and documentaries. Some even get their own T.V. show like America’s Most Wanted host John Walsh. Even others write blogs and books about their cancer!! I guess it could be said they profit off their cancer. All these people have one thing in common. They only profit if people want to know what they have to say. In fact, Casey Anthony’s defense attorney (Jose Baez) has hired a New York agent. To be crude and totally unfair, Jose Baez will become a very wealthy man because Caylee Anthony died. He’s going to profit not only from book and media deals, but he will be one of the most desired defense attorneys in the country. Anyway, before these self-righteous pundits complain too much about Casey Anthony “making money off the death of her child,” they need to look around after first looking in the mirror.

There is one group of people who should not profit from this whole ordeal. That is the jury. Juries don’t need to be thinking that a controversial verdict will land them lucrative media deals.

TRIAL BY JURY

I’ve served on two juries; both of them were criminal cases. In fact, I was the jury foreman both times, which really doesn’t mean much. Serving on a jury was a great experience and gives one a different perspective of a case. One case we ruled the defendant was not guilty and the other we ruled as guilty.

During the selection process of the first jury, the defense attorney told us of the charges against the defendant who was sitting there. She asked us to look at him and then answer, “How many of you already think he is guilty?” No-one raised their hand. “How many of you already think he is innocent?” No-one raised their hand. “How many of you say you need more information before deciding?” We all raised our hands. The defense attorney said that we all just violated her client’s civil rights because in the United States he is innocent unless it is proven that he is guilty. It was a good lesson; it put me in a different mindset once I was selected to the jury. It meant that during the whole case I was to hold the defendant innocent until and unless each charge was proven beyond a reasonable doubt.

The charges were another interesting aspect. We didn’t just listen to all the testimony and then go into the jury room and vote guilty or innocent. The foreman is given a charge sheet which lists the charges and the standards which have to be met in order to render a guilty verdict on each charge. Even if you think the defendant is guilty overall, if each criteria of the charge is not met then the presumption of innocence must be maintained and the judgment of not guilty must be rendered for that charge.

As far as the Casey Anthony trial goes, it is possible that the jury members think she is responsible for the disappearance and death of her child. However, that opinion doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is whether all the criteria for proving each individual charge on the charge sheet were met. If not, then she must be judged not guilty on those charges.

I give a lot of credence to a sitting jury. At least on the two juries I sat on, we were serious about our work and following the judge’s instructions to the letter. I presume the Casey Anthony jury did the same thing. I further presume that the reason that the jury found her not guilty is because the prosecutors did not meet the standards required to prove each murder/manslaughter charge beyond a reasonable doubt.

I think that what is being spewed by many T.V. pundits is plain rubbish. Some are saying that the jury was too much like CSI and won’t make a guilty judgment unless there is DNA, fingerprints, etc… that today’s jury’s won’t convict people on good circumstantial evidence. To me, that is just sour grapes to rectify all their wrong pontifications on the case for the last three years. They weren’t in the jury room and they don’t know; no jury members have spoken to the media yet. Furthermore, why have a jury at all? Why don’t we just let the media render its judgment? There’s nothing like sitting in the jury room to get a unique perspective of a case.

Do I think that Casey Anthony is innocent? I know she is guilty of a lot of atrocious parenting, even by her own admission, even by barbaric standards. However, that wasn’t one of the charges and is quite different from being proven guilty of murder/manslaughter. Do I think she knows what happened to her daughter? Yes, but that wasn’t one of the charges either. Finally, there is the question of who killed Caylee Anthony if her mother didn’t? I don’t know but not being able to figure out who the guilty party is doesn’t meet the standard for a guilty verdict either? One other thing…the jury is not answerable to the media. The jury doesn’t owe the media an interview, an explanation, or anything. The jury is only answerable to the judge.

There is a high standard to render a guilty judgment in this country. Yet, our prisons are overcrowded. Juries have no problem rendering guilty verdicts, even on circumstantial evidence. Just ask all the people who continue to get released and remunerated for having been falsely imprisoned for crimes that DNA later proved they didn’t commit. Our justice system isn’t perfect by any means but thank God it is the best on the planet.

A BETTER WAY

There’s got to be a better way. I showed up for jury duty at the appointed time and place amid about 150 other people. After the juror swearing in process, the lady let us know that there were only two judges selecting juries this week. These juries typically have 8 people on them with two of them being alternates. So, 150 people showed up for 16 not so coveted slots. Like I said, there’s got to be a better way. Although I’d rather not get a jury summons, I don’t mind serving once I’m there. I’ve been selected to juries twice before. It’s always the same thing, a throng of people to select a handful of slots. Anyway, after swearing in we watched two videos. The videos explained the judicial process as far as a juror is concerned. It was well done and much better than the old flick. I always thought it was distasteful to have highly paid employees of the court repeatedly tell us that it is our civic duty to volunteer to be jurors. It always came across badly. The new video puts serving as a juror in the light of fulfilling the needs of America’s legal system of jury by one’s peers. It comes across real well and not pompous.

I only slept a few hours last night and was not excited to get up to get down to the courthouse. Entering the courthouse, I had to go through security twice because I forgot to take my cell phone off before going through the scanner. Besides keys and other metal objects, all billfolds had to be put in trays to be x-rayed too. At the other end, the fellow behind me screamed that someone had taken his wallet from the scanning conveyor. While everyone was looking at him he noticed he had already picked it up; it was in his hand. I smirked and walked on. After checking in we were herded to the Jury Assembly Room. It was like a freezer in there. Eileen had reminded me to take an arm sleeve and I’m glad she did. Sometimes she does my thinking for me!! It didn’t take me long to get over any self conscious hesitation to put that long arm sleeve on my right arm. I would have had a real struggle with my arm to make it in that cold of a room without the arm sleeve. It was bad enough even with it. We were supposed to be there by 8am. At about 8:30 they started the proceedings.

After the initial group of people was called off for the first judge, I began reading my Kindle. Soon though, I was too distracted by the conversations going on around me. It’s amazing what people talk about to complete strangers. I later chatted with a fellow two chairs over from me but that wasn’t as interesting as some of the other conversations!! After a couple of hours the other group of people was called. I wasn’t among them so I knew I was headed home. I grabbed my Kindle and was ready to go but had to wait until they dismissed us one by one, calling out our names. That too took a while- - - for that too, there’s got to be a better way.

The Casey Anthony verdict came in after I wrote this. I'll make a comment on the case tomorrow.

HEADING HOME

Lindsay heads home today and we will miss her; we will miss her parents too of course. Lindsay is always on the go. Even when she plays she doesn’t sit still too long. She likes to take someone by the hand and go exploring from room to room, especially if someone is in one of those rooms. Except for our bedrooms, the floors are ceramic tile with concrete underneath. That’s not good for the falls which come with learning to walk. Her parents have an 8X8 area of foam interlocking blocks that they put down. That is Lindsay’s main play area. She can walk and fall without hurting herself but one of us grabs her hand if she goes exploring onto the tile, unless she crawls. There’s never a shortage of people willing to take her hand.

I have jury duty on Tuesday morning and will need to leave before Lindsay and family heads home. We’ll see them again this weekend but we’ll miss them in the meantime.

BLOGGING

Writing a daily blog is not always so easy. Today, Lindsay is helping me!! So, what does Lindsay have to say to us today? Hmmm, let me do a little mind melding with her. Lindsay wants us to know that she really loves her grandpa and is happy to help him with his blog post.

First of all, Lindsay says that she enjoys being a little baby and she really likes all the attention she gets from us. But being a baby isn’t as easy as some think it is. Most of all there is the communication gap. She knows what she wants but sometimes gets frustrated that no-one speaks baby talk; no-one understands her grunts, chants, squeals, and other noises. She only cries as a last resort. It seems to be the thing that gets action. Lindsay insists that her wants and needs are very basic and shouldn’t be that hard to figure out. Furthermore, she doesn’t understand why we don’t let her play with electrical cords, knick-knacks, and items that break easy. Lindsay says that she just wants to learn about them and she assures us that she will be very careful. She readily admits that her dexterity isn’t what it will be but a little breakage is part of learning. Lindsay also has a lot to say about diaper changes. She acknowledges that she needs to use diapers but she wants a more dignified way to be changed rather than be flopped on her back. Another thing is that Lindsay wants to go to sleep when she is ready, not when others think it’s time. She has no appointments to keep the next day and doesn’t mind staying up late. Lindsay does like the way her grandma puts her to sleep however.

Finally, Lindsay appreciates you reading her first blog!

THE GIRL IS BACK IN TOWN

I’ve used restraint in not blogging about our granddaughter (Lindsay) and parents being in town. That restraint ends today!! Lindsay is eight months old already and is beginning to walk. She can only take a few steps before losing her balance but it fascinating to watch her go through the various stages. Lindsay likes to be entertained and she’ll let anyone hold her, as long as she’s not real tired. Then she wants her mom or dad.

The last two nights, after she was nursed to sleep, I attempted to hold her. She didn’t like that at all even though we spent hours playing together and I held her throughout the day. On Thursday night, after she didn’t want me to hold her, Eileen took her and Lindsay settled right down and went back to sleep. Eileen held her until putting her down in her bed. Last night I attempted to hold Lindsay again after she was nursed to sleep. Again Lindsay woke up and wanted her mom back. Eileen took Lindsay and she went back to sleep. After a little while, Eileen transferred her to me. All went well and the words that leapt from my spirit were, “Thank you, Lord.” I was glad to get to hold Lindsay while she was asleep.

Although I hold Lindsay all through the day, at times until my right arm goes numb, she likes it and we have a grand time. So far though after she gets to sleep at night, it’s like she doesn’t know me if she wakes up in the transfer. Yet, she settles right down for Eileen. Maybe I truly am someone that not even a mother can love!! Actually, although I’m usually pretty good with babies, Eileen just has a special way with them and always has. Her motherly energy really connects with them. Anyway, I held Lindsay while she was asleep for a long time, until I went to bed. She squirmed around a few times to get comfortable and opened her eyes but it didn’t bother her that I was holding her by then. The point that I’m trying to get to is that there is nothing like holding a sleeping baby, especially when it belongs to you. The innocence of the baby gives off such a loving and harmonizing energy as she sleeps so peacefully. She worries about nothing, has no responsibilities, and goes from moment to moment. Although adults aren’t always afforded moments likes those, the quiet connection with someone who is, a baby, can be quite therapeutic. I absorbed as much of it in as I could. Eileen then helped me put her into her bed; Lindsay’s parents had long ago gone to bed. Lindsay didn’t make a move when we put her down. I looked over at Lindsay’s mom as we left the room; she gave us a smile.

HOUSECLEANING

A friend wrote me recently about her doing some housecleaning. No, it wasn’t about dusting and vacuuming the house she lives in, it was about cleaning the house that lives in her, the house God lives in: Her spiritual house. She wrote that she is searching all the rooms of her heart so as to deal with whatever she needs to. She didn’t want to sweep anything under the rug that may be holding her back.

A little spring/summer/fall/winter cleaning does wonders for our garage, attic, or house. It does wonders spiritually too. Too many times there are items of resentment or unforgiveness which have been swept under the rug. They create a lump or hard spot in our hearts. While some things ought to be sorted through before sweeping them out the door, many things are best to be blindly swept out. Just gotten rid of, shed it.

Shedding our lives of emotional /spiritual clutter is better than any other cleaning we could do. Similar to growing attached to some of the junk in our homes, we can grow attached to the junk in our emotional lives. We often become afraid to live without it, even though we know it muddles our psyche.

The great thing about emotional housecleaning is that we don’t have to wait for a particular time of the season. We can and should simply do it.

UPDATING

My type of leukemia is a rare type of cancer. It is even rarer in young people. However, one of our daughter’s friends has CML and is her age. His cancer went into remission but he had to take a reduced dosage because his muscle cramps were so bad. I can tell you from experience that they can get very fierce. Anyway, his cancer has now come back. We pray that his cancer gets back under control.

It’s a reminder to me that my variety of CML is supposed to come out of remission too. However, we hope and pray that it is a long time from now. We hope that it is so long from now that they develop a drug that can rapidly put it back into remission. I’m also reminded that I’m blessed to only have Gleevec symptoms to the degree that I do. Although some are fortunate enough to have negligible side effects, most people struggle with Gleevec. As for me, my battle has been a bit livelier than normal as of late. I’m not sure what I’ve done to set it off but Gleevec and I have been at odds with each other. It plays rough and has been playing rough enough that I’ll give it a little time to settle down before calling the oncologist to get it checked out. Otherwise, my next oncology appointment is in September. I see my family doctor in August.