DEVALUING

“Just ignore him and he’ll go away” is a saying that many parents have advised their children. It can be great advice in certain situations. Although there may be times to ignore someone as an adult, it is not advisable to ignore those in our important relationships. Especially in a relationship, ignoring the other person or giving him the “silence treatment” not only makes it seem that we have too much self-importance but it makes the other person feel devalued.

Perhaps too much is written these days about our sense of personal value. It’s true that it’s easy for us to have an inflated sense of self value. For the most part though, we who should only devalue ourselves, not another. Devaluing another makes them feel as if their dignity and self-worth have been violated.

One of the main things we like about others is how they make us feel when we are around them. If we make another feel devalued they won’t want to be around us much. That isn’t good on a marriage or other important relationships. Rather than devalue others by ignoring them or giving them the silence treatment, we should seek to honestly value them for the true blessing that they are. Sometimes we have to look a little deep to see the blessing if the relationship is riddled with hard feelings and resentment. Nevertheless, seeing the goodness in others is the key to valuing them and having a valuable relationship.

There are also a lot of people who devalue others by their constant joking or teasing. The relationship is largely void of value-enhancing dialog. “Just ignore him and he’ll go away” not only works on people we don’t want to be around but it also works on those we claim to love the most.