I thought about not giving the letter to my family doctor and just wait to talk to him at my appointment in two weeks. I decided that I can just tough it out until then. However, as the weather began to turn again, I decided I better stop being relatively passive about my arm and force something to give. So, after going to Whataburger for coffee with a friend, I drove to my doctor’s clinic and gave the letter to the receptionist. I asked that she makes sure that my doctor gets the envelope. I had put the letter in an envelope with his name on the outside. I wrote “personal” at the bottom of the envelope and underlined it with a yellow highlighter. I then went home to await a call from his office. I don’t imagine he’ll get a chance to see it before lunch so I’ll make sure I hang around the phone until after the lunch hour. If they don’t call by then, it could be later in the afternoon…if at all!!
So, I started this blog post while I wait for the call. While I’m waiting, I want to share part of a conversation I had with our oldest daughter yesterday. She commented about me referring to Gabapentin as my “suicide” medication. She reminded me that I raised them on positive concepts and didn’t tolerate possible negative self-fulfilling comments or thoughts. I laughed when she said that as I thought, “Hey, maybe some of that stuck with the kids after all!!” So, I told her that she was right and that I wouldn’t call Gabapentin “suicide” medication any longer. The point is that if I have to actually take Gabapentin, it’s not a good thing to have programmed my mind that it is “suicide” medication. I suppose I should practice what I preach!!
Okay… I waited by the phone until after the lunch hour. Then I left the house for about an hour. When I got back there was a message on the answering machine from the doctor’s office. I called back but got the voicemail. Later in the afternoon the doctor’s nurse called again. She assured me that the doctor had responded to my phone message but apologized that the office dropped the callback. She said that she was out of the office that day and the next several. The doctor had given the substitute nurse his directions for me. She didn’t follow through in calling me. The nurse again apologized and said that if I ever have any questions to ask for the direct line to her; don’t leave a message with the message center. Then she got down to what my doctor wanted me to do. She said that the doctor wants me to follow the neurologist’s recommendation but come off the Tramadol and Lortab slowly. She said that the doctor himself has taken Gabapentin and was confident I’d tolerate it fine. Since I already have an appointment in two weeks he’d check with me then, unless I develop problems with it. I told her that I was already off the Tramadol and Lortab for a week although I might decide to take one now and then if these withdrawal symptoms don’t go away. The nurse reiterated that the doctor wants me off of it so not to use it too often.
Now I wish that I hadn’t been calling Gabapentin “suicide” medication!! I’ll suppose I’ll probably start taking them once I get my mind right… because I need to do something.