A DICHOTOMY

Lyrics in an old Billy Joel song say, “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun…”   I never cared for the lyrics of that song but that part of the lyrics has always stuck with me. It defines a great dichotomy of life: Laugh with the sinners or cry with the saints.

There are many situations we could substitute in the lyric, for there are many things that are much more fun to do on the sinner side of the ledger than the saint side. Again though, that is what defines us. It defines us each time we choose to take the socially acceptable, popular, politically correct, or wrong turns in life rather than do what is right or righteous. It will always make us more popular to go with the crowd than to do right, as it will always make us seem more pleasant to compromise than to stand firm in truth. Further, it seems that greater the risk involved then greater the potential for fun, even though sitting back doing nothing is more fun that fighting the good fight.

While the proud sinner and humble saint alike enjoy fun and a good time, it’s the type of fun and the timing of the fun which identifies us. Irresponsibility along with ethical and moral compromise is the path which leads to misplaced fun. Our desire for fun or to live a stress free life should never trump what is right, good, and honorable. Many of the grave issues facing our families and nation today are borne of an unwillingness to fight the good fight…seeking what is fun and comfortable instead. Yet, there is one thing that puts the kibosh on all the fun and outward peace. That is crisis. When a major health concern, relationship disaster, legal problem, financial situation, or other significant misfortune hits, we aren’t so focused on having our own kind of fun. We go into a survival mode in which we wish we had a little better relationship with the Lord and were more in touch with our saintly side.

Perhaps we’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, but woe is us if we need a crisis to get our perspective back to where it needs to be.

LOCKS OF LOVE

“Locks of Love” describes itself as “a public non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children in the United States and Canada under age 21 suffering from long-term medical hair loss from any diagnosis.” Our youngest daughter had thirteen inches of her long hair cut off today for the purpose of “Locks of Love.” She got a friend, a boy whose hair was also quite long, to go with her and get his done too. Both haircuts look great and the cause is a good one.

We sure don’t have to look far to find a good cause that we can be a benefit to. While not everyone has the minimum of ten inches of hair to donate to Locks of Love, there are many other organizations which serve worthy purposes. Not only do these organizations serve worthy purposes, but giving of our time, talent, or treasure is an important part of the process which governs our spiritual maturation. We are hard-wired to give. Only when our self-centeredness dominates us do we mostly think of ourselves rather than others. Giving not only helps others but it renders wholeness to our souls.

GIVER

Too many times and too often, we measure life by what we have achieved or obtained. Although elements of that are important, if what we have achieved isn’t partially comprised of what we have contributed, we’ll find much of life being rather empty. The human spirit is not made to be a “taker” or to merely exist. Show me a functionally depressed person and I’ll show you someone who doesn’t give enough…although he’ll think he gives too much!! Life itself is a big “exchange,” a big give and take. A real key to happiness and satisfaction in life is to get ahead of the natural exchange and be a “giver.”

Even if a person is a natural giver, it’s important to find a purpose in life bigger than one’s self. It isn’t hard to find worthy purposes; they are all around us. If you have children, there’s perhaps no bigger purpose. The problem is that we easily get consumed with our own desires and purposes and we quickly no longer serve a purpose bigger than self. Even with our children, too many selfishly look forward to the time they turn eighteen and are out of the house, rather than serving the parental purpose they have while the children are there.

Serving the parental purpose is not the same as serving the parents. Parents shouldn’t seek to primarily serve the children or the parents. They should seek to serve the Right way to parent. The misguided goal of primarily serving the parents or the children, rather than the children’s righteous outcome, often winds up disastrous. It divides many marriages in the process too.

It’s good to remember that we are designed to have a purpose bigger than just breathing the air around us and taking up space. Serving the righteous outcome of others does wonders for the human spirit and makes us a “giver” rather than a “taker” or “exchanger.”

TOUCH OF HOME

We are home after a great trip to see our oldest daughter. We always have a great time visiting with our kids and miss them when we part again. Nevertheless, they have their own lives and dreams to pursue.

I firmly believe it is the chief role of parents to equip their kids to live life effectively. Too often we co-exist with our kids and then can’t wait until they leave the nest. Nevertheless, there is so much to teach them, so much to equip them with so they can live spiritually, emotionally, and physically effective lives. The teaching never ends and our example is much more effectual than our words. Even if it is the simple act of coming to a complete stop at a stop sign, our kids take notice of our practices. Their subconscious minds register whether there is iron in our words or whether we are just bags of wind. Over a period of time, their impression of our parental character is formed. That will play a large part in our influence with them while they are at home and throughout their lives. Not only should we decide what type of children we seek to raise, we should decide what kind of parents and grandparents we will seek to be.

Our oldest son’s family will be coming into town this next weekend through the fourth. It will be great to see them again too!!

BEAUFORT

We toured beautiful Beaufort in a horse drawn carriage. It was very interesting and a fun experience. We then ate at a café before heading to the Chocolate Tree, which is a candy factory. We tried their samples before purchasing some chocolate creations. We then went to Parris Island Marine Recruit Depot where our older daughter is a Navy officer at the Branch Clinic.

The Branch Clinic serves the 17,000 Marine recruits per year and 21,000 permanent personnel. Although our daughter reports to the clinic director, she is the clinic’s lone administration officer. It’s a job that she absolutely loves and it keeps her very busy. We toured the very large clinic and her office. I sat in her chair and pretended to be a big shot!! We also went to the Exchange (shopping center) and commissary (grocery store). We saw a lot of Marine recruits working hard. We were careful not to gawk or act like tourists; we went about our business while they went about theirs. Just before the parade ground, there is a sign overhanging the street which says, “We Make Marines.” There something comforting knowing that our military services are busy molding the personnel who defend this country. In this case, the Marine Corps is hard at work “making Marines.”

Tonight, Saturday, we are going to the drive-in movies to watch the new “Cars” movie. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a drive-in. It should be fun. Tomorrow, before heading home, we’re heading back to Parris Island Marine base to eat brunch at the Traditions restaurant. I’m not sure our clothes are fancy enough to go there but our daughter says she won’t disown us!!

CAR TRIP

We arrived at our daughter’s house in South Carolina (Friday). We arrived just minutes before she did from work. She’s a healthcare administrator in the Navy. She is assigned to the Marine Corps clinic on Parris Island. She really, really likes it.

Right now, Eileen and our two daughters are making cakes and such to decorate. I was invited to help but I’d hate to ruin their masterpiece. I’ll just help eat the finished project; that will be contribution enough.

On Saturday we are going to take a horse and carriage tour of historic Beaufort.

CO-MINGLING

Many people take pride in being known as a moderate. They find satisfaction in giving each side of an issue its due and then selecting their ultimate view from the considerations. Things tend to be less black and white, right and wrong, to moderates; they often view issues as being in grey areas...both sides having good and bad. Although this may seem to be a reasonable way to be, it needs a closer look.

As I mentioned yesterday, a read of the Bible teaches us that the God of both the Old Testament and New Testament is clear about right and wrong, good and evil. Regardless of the merits of the other side of an issue, righteousness is always to prevail. We see the same thing when Jesus is tempted by the devil. Jesus didn’t say that the devil had some good points; instead, Jesus strongly rebuked satan. All through the Bible, right is righteous and wrong is uncompromisingly wrong. The Lord is not shy about identifying the differences and holding us accountable to righteousness. God doesn’t seem to consider the merits of the wrong side of things. In that respect, The Lord is very conservative: Things are right or wrong, good or bad but not both. The Lord lets His “yes be yes and His no be no,” not both or maybe. Again, the Lord comes down firmly on the side of right and good. He doesn’t give credence to the merits of wrong. He doesn’t appear to be what we call a moderate.

This country has slowly declined because we don’t reject wrong outright. We think that there are wrong ways to do right things. We let wrong’s little merits plant its weeds into our society, church, and families. Then these weeds choke our country’s morals, ethics, and righteous traditions.

We should be mindful that God is on one side while evil is on the other. Co-mingling is not an option. We are either for God or against Him…regardless of what merits wrong may have.