Electric Bill

I could have howled when I saw our electric bill for the last month. It’s the highest electric bill that we’ve ever had. We’re not alone. Many I talk to are experiencing the same thing. It seems we’ve had more unseemly low temperatures this year than in recent years and the heating bills have escalated. I could use a little global warming about now…so could our electric bill!! A friend says not to worry about it as his wife works for the power company. In fact, he encouraged me to leave more lights on and keep the house warmer so that his wife would get a nicer bonus this year. I suppose one man’s pain is another man’s pleasure!! As we were talking, he pointed out a man who has breakfast with his brother and father almost every day. I about said, “I sure would like to have breakfast with my father right now,” but I didn’t. It came to my mind that this friend grew up without a father at home. I’m sure he would have liked to have a father around all his childhood like I did. I kept quiet for the time being. I mentioned it to him later when the timing seemed better. We all have our burdens to bear and we sure don’t have to look too far to see others who carry a heavier one. Nevertheless, I have one more reason to not like cold weather besides my arm…our electric bill!!

Good Intentions

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I hope not!! I had the good intention of going to church today (Sunday) but I didn't. I remain a bit phobic about being in tight crowds with germ-laden people. When in such groups, I hear all the coughs, sneezes, wheezes, hacking, and clearing of the throat. I sometimes exhale extra deep after hearing such an expulsion hoping to not inhale any bugs that were just spewed into the enclosed atmosphere. Still recovering from my last germ attack from a hostile environment (which I knew better than to go in), I wondered if I should go to church or stay home. Then, on Saturday, a friend brought me a nice card and a Ray Vander Laan DVD titled, “Walking with God in the Desert.” It has seven or so different segments. So, the family gathered to watch the first segment today. We’ll watch one segment each ensuing Sunday, whether I journey into that microorganism stronghold that is commonly called “church” or not. So, my church at home this week was augmented by Ray Vander Laan. It’s my first time with one of his studies and it is quite interesting. And so, as long as some of my symptoms from last week’s illness linger in my body or mind, I presume my good intentions of going to church will remain just that.

Much Better

I’m doing quite a bit better today. Although some nuisance symptoms from the bug still persist, I feel much better, alert, and among the living. I still haven’t done much today but I at least thought about doing something!! Believe me, that’s an improvement. Although I’ve attended to some important and unimportant items this week, I’ve chosen to let a few things slide. I’ll need to tend to them in the next day or two. Cold weather has assaulted the country again. Granted I perceive it to be cold before most, but there have been some really cold places in the country these past couple of days. Other than my arm, I don’t mind cooler weather but I’m so used to pandering to my arm that my arm determines my weather tolerance. To say the least, this cold weather is a challenge that takes both mental energy and strong pain killers to keep things from going crazy. Sometimes it’s beyond my mind and pain killers’ control. Yet, there are many people who deal with that scenario incessantly. They have no escape unless they are on something like morphine. Even that’s not enough for some. That’s why when I write about my symptoms that I do it with great trepidation. Regardless of how rough I may regularly feel, there are those who would trade with me in an instant. I’m very mindful of them. Even so, I can’t let their untoward circumstances lessen my thankfulness and appreciation that my situation is far more fortunate. Thus, I do relish the blessing that is mine that regardless of how tough it may get, I stay mindful that it’s not as tough as so many have it. There are times that I begrudgingly say that I’m miserable. Yet, I know that my misery relinquishes at some point and doesn’t compare to what others endure, or even what I’ve endured myself in the past. So, today I’m thankful that I’m doing much better and I’m prayerful for those who remain in the doldrums of physical and mental anguish.

In The Mind

This may be hard to understand for those who haven’t experienced prolonged or intractable pain. However, there is a certain amount of pain which can be suppressed by the mind. It’s not to say that it ever goes away, but it can be suppressed to a tolerable level. The problem is that the intensified pain is never too far away and can easily be incited. But it is amazing what the mind can do. Whenever I’m sick or have to divert a certain amount of mental energy onto something else, then I’m much more susceptible to my ills. That is what has happened in this latest bout. I’m about recovered from my bug but my mind hasn’t got itself fully wrapped around my ills yet. I feel that I’m a day or two away from being back to the normal battle. I’m very much looking forward to that!! I hope this makes sense; it will to those who’ve dealt with chronic pain.

Feeling Better

It’s late Wednesday night and I’m feeling quite a bit better. I’m rather weak and weary but more energetic... if that makes sense. I’ve been in bed more hours than I’ve been out of it in the past two days. By foolishly being where I shouldn’t have been, I caught a bug in the middle of last week. I thought I was pretty well over the bug when we left town. I held up alright over the weekend although I fought fierce fatigue. But I was also so excited to see our daughter that I think my excitement helped propel me through our activities. We toured both Charleston, SC and Savannah, Georgia. We had a great time visiting shops, sightseeing, and walking through the historical districts, etc. It was exciting and beautiful. We also visited the U.S.S. Yorktown, although we didn’t tour it. On the drive home (Monday) my energy started taking a severe hit. After getting home, I was wiped out. It seems that when I’m in my “normal” state that I can keep many of my symptoms at bay, albeit always on edge. However, when I’m down, I don’t have the same mental defense against my ills, and they pour onto me. Therefore, I was not only fighting the residual effects of my bug but I was also fighting my arm, stomach, and legs, etc. I’m not used to sleeping so much in the daytime, for any reason. I sure had some weird dreams!! Anyway, on Tuesday I got out of bed long enough to have lunch with my brother before heading back to bed. Wednesday morning I got up and got ready for a meeting, but my body unloaded on me. I wasn’t sure I could drive. I cancelled my appointment and gave my daughter the option to ride the bus or drive our minivan to school. She took the van. I spent most of the rest of the day sleeping interspersed with nauseating pain, which didn’t help my stomach either. Finally, I got up in the evening and everything seems to be back at a manageable level, except for the weariness and weakness. I’m glad I feeling better and still look forward to an even better tomorrow!!

Better Tomorrow

We got home Monday night from a wonderful visit with our daughter. I was a bit under the weather before we went and I have especially been since we returned. I’ve spent most of the past two days in bed... but I’m hoping for a better tomorrow.