Realms

Finally then, we can look at our lives as primarily lived in the spiritual realm or in the worldly realm. In the worldly realm, “self” and our primal animal instincts of survival are paramount. In other words, we look out for “number one” in practically everything we do. Even when we do something for someone else, we’re doing it for what someone will think of us or for what will make us feel good. Further, in the worldly realm we are primarily concerned with our wants and needs as the world has defined them and has awakened us to.
On the other hand, there is the spiritual realm. It is primarily concerned with Right. Thus, regardless of what we may personally want or desire, we seek what is right, honorable, and true. This is the realm in which we will lay down our self, pride, ego, desires, wants, and even our life for what is right.
We all migrate between the spiritual and worldly realms. Therefore, the real question is - - - which realm do we spend most of our time in, especially when life presents its worst challenges or we are having a bad day? That answer is what defines the true nature of our character and the true realm from which we operate: It defines who we really are.

News Update

The post I prepared for today will have to wait; I’ll conclude the discussion about self-esteem tomorrow.
First, Eileen continues to get much stronger. Her pain is still mainly in the area of her very low back where she has surgical bruising. Her pelvic distress is essentially gone. Eileen is doing much better about taking it easy too. We’ll find out just how well she is doing at her Wednesday doctor's appointment.
Secondly, I got news yesterday that my uncle passed away. He was a very special uncle and he always said that we were more like his children than niece and nephews. We usually spent a week or two each summer with him and our aunt. He took us fishing, cliff diving, and all sorts of things. He even taught me how to drive (the driving age was lower in Arkansas). My uncle was also the one that I went into practice with right after graduation. He was a great man to everyone who knew him; he will be missed.
I mentioned in a blog several months ago that music is a great reliever of negative energy or stress. In my case I play the guitar (sort of!) and sing (poorly). After getting the news about my uncle, I eventually brought out my guitar and began playing. Then I wrote a little song about him. I thought that I’d share the chorus with you as I sign off for today.
In heaven, there’s so much to savor,
And when you’ve seen all there is to see,
Please do me one special favor,
Say hello to my daddy for me.

Good Doggy

We can view self-esteem as a worldly way to give ourselves validity and merit. At its basic level, it’s not much different than me telling our dog, Ellie, “good dog.” At the animal instinct level, our esteem tells us whether we are good or bad based on what other people say to us, do to us, or don’t say and do. We put the power of our worth in the hands of others, just like Ellie does.
Self-help and self-awareness books have promoted our insatiable desire to have others give us value. While that does have its place and importance, it leaves the value of self (self-esteem) in the hands of others. Thus our emotional status tends to go up and down depending on how things are going around us.
Self-esteem, as we use it, is not compatible with Biblical teachings such as “dying to self,” “the first will be last,” and “serve others.” Unfortunately, self-esteem is all about self!! In contrast, the Biblical approach seeks for us to gain our value through spiritual character, rather than having others tells us and treat us like a “good doggy.”
Having a sense of value is important; but we have a choice to primarily garner our value either through strength of character or through the image we can create in the minds of others and ourselves… about ourselves. Pumping ourselves up with words is like pumping up a balloon; it’s full of hot air and hollow. In contrast, character is the solid foundation on which true spirituality is built. It’s good to remember that we choose to primarily live according to the principles of the world like Ellie does, or live according to the higher principles of the spirit. One bases its value on feelings; the other bases its value on character. What does that do to your self-esteem?!!

Pressing On

I’m going to wait a day to conclude the discussion on self-esteem. I want to give you a couple of other updates first.
Eileen had a restless night but is doing better today. Her inner back feels very bruised and she does have a couple of bruises on her backside. No, I haven’t kicked her; she came home from the hospital that way!! Anyway, her pelvic pain is more discomfort than it is pain and it is generally minimal. Eileen feels good and ready to go most of the time.
I also wanted to tell you that I’ve been working on my manuscript. The deadline for its submission is August 1st. It has taken me almost an hour per ten pages to edit; the manuscript is 172 pages. Unfortunately, there are some typos and sentence structure mistakes I caught and corrected. I’m not sure how much editing the publisher’s editors will do, but I might have a lot more to do when they get finished with it!! Anyway, I printed off the manuscript and have been plugging away at it. So after around 17 hours of editing over the recent past, I was on a roll last night; I stayed up until 11:30 to finish my read-through. Today, I made the corrections in the computer version of the manuscript and arranged it the way the publisher requested. I wrote the pre-publishing editor a note and attached the manuscript, along with one picture to be included in the manuscript. I was allowed 15 pictures but since I can’t include all 365, I didn’t see a need to get permissions for only 15. The one picture I used is a public domain picture so no permissions are required.
After I got it all assembled and ready to email, Eileen came over and we said a prayer. Afterwards I asked her to push the “send” button. Thus, the manuscript has now been submitted to the pre-publication department of the publisher.

Eileen Update

I didn’t write anything about Eileen these past two days and I got emails asking about Eileen. So, here’s an update. Eileen is definitely getting stronger although she has a rough night here and there. She is supposed to be able to walk 20 minutes by next Wednesday. I think she could have done that when she woke up from anesthesia!! She comes from strong stock and is a strong woman in her own right. Without her mother here, it would be harder to keep her quiet. Her mom has told her a couple of times that she’s doing too much. Eileen tries but what she thinks is “nothing” is a day’s work for me!!
Eileen had started a baby quilt and was glad that her mom offered to finish it up. Her mom (Eunice) has probably hand sewn on it for about 30 hours this week. She finished the quilt a little while ago. Eunice has also cooked, done dishes, done laundry, and some other household tasks. That’s not bad for an 84 year old woman. I help out enough that Eunice doesn’t think that I’m a total “loser”!!
Okay now, I didn’t lose my place. There will be more about self-esteem tomorrow.

Building Blocks

So how do we build character so that we can have Righteous self-esteem? Veterans of this blog know the answer: Seek to do right. You see, if we are left to our natural survival programming, we will naturally do what seems good to us or even right to us. But that doesn’t mean it is right for others, legal, or even moral. Even artificially inflating our self-esteem can seem like a good, harmless, beneficial, or the right thing. But as we saw yesterday, it is a hollow promise which leaves us empty. To overcome our natural survival programming, we have to seek the spiritual plane. That is where we can learn to be motivated by what is righteous rather than motivated by what serves our personal wants and desires. Character is built a block at a time and multiplies upon itself. When our character is strong, built on righteousness, then we have the best self-esteem we can ever have.

Self-Esteem & Character

So much importance is put on self-esteem, especially in our children. Even so, I hear many adults lament that they too have low self-esteem. What is self-esteem? Simply put, self-esteem is what we think of ourselves. In that vein, much effort is put on what our children think of themselves. But what is it based on? It’s gotten to the point that some teams don’t keep score so that no one loses. After all, losing can hurt their self-esteem. Further, we are told to praise our children even when they do wrong, call them winners when they lose, tell them they are right when they are wrong, and make them feel as if they succeeded even when they fail. In addition, we are told to never “judge” them, make them feel wrong or guilty, or let them face reality when it is especially burdensome. - - - - - And then we wonder why we have kids who become adults who are maladapted, high maintenance, and always needing their emotions massaged. Life becomes very depressing and confusing for them when the reality of life in all its failures, disappointments, and wrongs finally sets in. A true key to life is not avoiding disappointments, for they will come. The true key is found in persevering and overcoming despite disappointments.
In contrast to our usual considerations of self-esteem, Righteous self-esteem is gained as a measure of one’s character. I’ll say that again only slower. Righteous self-esteem is gained as a measure of one’s character. If we have strong character, we will have strong self-esteem. If our character is based on a bunch of rah-rah talk and false impressions of reality, we will eventually have low self-esteem. No matter how much one tells himself that he is a winner, happy, and important…the soul knows whether it’s a lie or not. The soul is what ultimately judges self-esteem in us…and it bases it upon righteous character. Rather than focus on self-esteem, we should focus on character. Then self-esteem will take care of itself.